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The VP of ChronicTM has nothing to hide

The VP of ChronicTM has high standards. You’d expect this of someone who has his sights set on becoming Toronto’s most revered reviewer of dispensaries and medical marijuana.

What he doesn’t have are particular qualifications or education – just a prescription for cannabis, over a decade’s experience smoking weed and more than 7,800 Instagram followers, for whom he’s taken on the task of reviewing every store, strain and shatter in the city, one hit at a time.

The VP has a carefree but self-assured charm, the kind of accidental confidence that comes from being just high enough to not give a shit. He’s a joker in the world of medical cannabis. He’s also a shameless self-promoter.

“I’ve got nothing to hide,” he says, and one look at his Instagram page confirms this. Several videos show him driving an SUV, hip-hop tracks strategically audible in the background, asking for suggestions on what dispensary to review next.

“Yo, good afternoon, good afternoon. Happy Stoner Sunday,” he says in one post, wearing slicked-back hair and a fur-lined parka.

But he’s not always the VP. He has a day job in executive sales, is married with children and goes by the name Gil, even though some of his family members have started to refer to him as VP since he started posting his reviews online.

The VP thinks he’s the second local dispensary and bud reviewer to blow onto Instagram. (@TO.Dispensaries was first and has more than 12,000 followers, but it’s a private account.) A few others have quickly popped up: @TheHighCourt – Judges of Fine Cannabis @GanjaBrosWorld, “Be a Ganja Bro and help us uncover the Truth about Cannabis” and @DispensaryReviews.

What sets the Veep apart is the blunt branding. Since he began posting reviews in January, he’s recognized at industry events, has hired help to launch a website and has plans to make branded merchandise.

As one of the growing number of Torontonians who can legally use medical marijuana, he began rating pot resources as a passion project.

“It’s a hobby that I took up because I really like helping people,” he says. “I give other patients an awareness of what’s going on in the community.”

When asked what his favourite strain of weed is, he jumps into action, plunging a hand into his bag to retrieve a small jar with a lid showing a smiling Cookie Monster. Inside, several buds of Forum Cut Girl Scout Cookies roll around, releasing a pungent, sweet aroma.

“This is exclusive, the most expensive cannabis you can purchase in Toronto right now. Nobody has it,” he says.

Most of his reviews focus on particular products: edibles, shatter (the concentrated marijuana derivative), flowers. If you’re relatively new to the world of medical marijuana, it can be overwhelming, with each dispensary offering an array of products of varying quality. And because these dispensaries are coming out of the shadows and entering the free market for the first time, each has a vested interest in proclaiming it has the best bud.

“Everyone’s pretty much testing the way they want to run their business, and that’s what interests me. I want to see all the dispensaries, I want to see who’s going to run their business properly,” he says.

The VP looks for stores that are friendly and welcoming, like he is. But he also expects knowledgeable staff and quality product.

He’s careful to note that he doesn’t break any laws for his reviews: he never smokes at the dispensaries or in his car as he drives away. Instead, he waits until he gets home and can sneak out to the garage. (He doesn’t smoke around his wife or children.)

He takes a quasi-scientific approach. “I put [the weed] under a clinical magnifier to see its structure, the trichomes and calyxes, the pistols and formations,” he says. Then it’s time to smoke. Or dab. The VP prefers to dab nowadays.

***

It’s a Sunday afternoon in a dispensary on Dundas, and the VP is staying away from the throng of customers crowding the counter lest they trigger his anxiety. We wait until we’re approached by a bud-tender who presents him with a stack of papers to fill out. He’s annoyed and tells me this amount of paperwork is unnecessary. He fills them out anyway and brings them up to the counter. Immediately, he’s recognized.

“Hey! Are you the VP of Chronic?” a customer asks. “I follow you!”

The VP smiles. His celebrity is confirmed. The VP isn’t all talk: he knows his shit.

The two owners take us upstairs to their barren, unfurnished office. They want the VP’s honest opinion of their operation. The VP offers some harsh advice: control the crowds better install a doorbell entry system consider frosting the bottom half of the front window. He also offers to share some of his contacts so this particular dispensary can improve its extract game.

As we leave, the VP tells me that he’s not impressed. He will rate them a 6 out of 10, but he’s open to reviewing the store again in a few months’ time. Despite its flaws, customers will no doubt keep packing in thanks to the growing popularity of legal-ish bud.

Which is precisely why reviewers like the VP of Chronic may become increasingly important once the floodgates are fully open and the market is saturated with dispensaries. A negative review from a respected voice in the industry could have extreme consequences. This responsibility is not lost on the VP.

“I’m honest,” he says, “but I’m not going to call someone out to the point where I’m going to destroy them.”

When you’re in the business of calling people out, though, you’re bound to attract some criticism yourself. When confronted with dissenters who question his authority, the VP chooses not to engage.

“You know you’re growing when you’ve got haters.”

1. Favourite strain: Forum Cut Girl Scout Cookies, by OG Meds

2. Best strain for a concert: Island Sweet Skunk (Breeder Steve Cut). “Sativa leaves you feeling very energetic and uplifted.”

3. Best strain for a body buzz: Pink Kush

4. Best strain for getting baked at home: UBC Chemo Kush (Remo Cut). “A heavy-hitter indica strain.”

5. Best strain for treating depression or anxiety: Girl Scout Cookies

6. Best Toronto dispensary for edibles: Qualimeds Collective

7. Best dispensary for shatter: Canna Connoisseurs.

8. Best dispensary for variety of product: Canna Connoisseurs

9. Best budtender in the city: Jamie from Qualimeds Collective. “She is very professional, polite and knows her Cannabis 101.”

10. One thing T.O. dispensaries could learn from BC: Better knowledge of their products. “It’s not about putting a pretty face at the counter.”

news@nowtoronto.com | @nowtoronto

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