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TTC announces new “personal” cars

In an effort to further improve customer service, the TTC has introduced a new “personal car.” As explained in this video by Executive Director of Corporate Communications Brad Ross and Chief Customer Officer Chris Upfold, the personal car is a designated subway train where passengers can basically do whatever the hell they please: put their feet up, rest bags on their seats, clip their nails, listen to music at the appropriate volume, eat KFC, whatever.

In one fell swoop, the TTC has managed to address a whole swath of customer service concerns and we seriously can’t wait to-hey, wait a minute. You there! What do is this? Oh, it’s a joke. Though it’s not quite as funny as Andy Byford’s super-earnest apology video.

This is actually just a thickly veiled PSA asking transit riders to behave in a semi-civil manner. Way to ruin April Fool’s with nanny state nagging, TTC. May all your office chairs be lined with whoopee cushions and may all the free sticks of gum you’re offered today turn your teeth black and make your mouths reek of garlic.

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