Rating: NNNNN
Barely edible TV
Now we know where The Naked News sends its rejects — to something even worse called Barely Cooking. Well on its way to becoming full-time trash TV, Citytv got lots of hype for the launch of its latest deadly dish. But the bare-assed boobs stumbling around the kitchen serve up a show that truly sucks. Not sexy, not useful and not even exciting, since they don’t have the guts to cook bacon.
Spitfire fool
On the heels of two nightclub disasters, Jason Solyom, frontman for Vancouver’s hard-rock knuckleheads the Spitfires, opted for fun with a fire extinguisher during the band’s recent CMW showcase. Three songs into a promising set, Solyom grabbed the Horseshoe fire extinguisher and blasted away at the crowd. People stormed to the exits, some fearing an actual fire, others just wanting to escape the choking gas. “Gawd,” groaned Solyom from the stage as he disappeared behind a cloud, “that’s disgusting. I guess that was a pretty dumb move.” Uh-huh.
Mayor’s March break madness
In Canada we can put hockey on the five-dollar bill, but don’t try playing it on city rinks after February. Toronto’s free outdoor public skating rinks shut down this past weekend, just in time to miss March break and plenty of cold weather. It’s part of Mad Mayor Mel’s no-tax-increase legacy, which shaved weeks off the seasons of rinks and public pools. Kids of people like Lastman and conservative mayoralty hopeful John Tory will be happily sunning in the south during the school break. But the less privileged, well, they can go hang in the malls.
Animal rights atrocities
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals should stick to cute campaigns showing beautiful naked people forgoing fur. They screw up the other stuff. First they compared the murder of Vancouver women with animal slaughter. Now, PETA’s disgusting Holocaust On Your Plate campaign draws a parallel between the butchering of animals and the second world war Holocaust. The campaign exploits Jews murdered by the Nazis, using their images beside slaughterhouse-bound beasts. Score 10 for shock and zero for sensitivity. It just makes the legitimate efforts of animal activists seem like the work of a lunatic fringe.
See Betty run
Quite the hasty retreat by exiting city councillor Betty Disero. Disero was one of the corruption-tainted council’s most powerful members, chairing the TTC as well as public works, with a major role in the city’s waste management rethink. (Stick it in a hole, right?) Now she won’t even finish her term. And she won’t be around when the controversial deal signed on her watch with OMG Media, the advertising-on-garbage-cans guys, gets reviewed. Instead she’s crocodile-tear ready for a lucrative career lobbying the very politicians and civil servants who were once her colleagues. Wonder if she’ll be taking the usual suspects to hockey games or strip clubs in her new job?
