Up Front

Rating: NNNNNtories fail clownMinistry of Education officials didn't exactly double over in laughter when OISE teaching student Chris Coculuzzi showed.

Rating: NNNNN

tories fail clown

Ministry of Education officials didn’t exactly double over in laughter when OISE teaching student Chris Coculuzzi showed up last Saturday to write the Tory-mandated Ontario Teacher’s Qualifying Test in a clown suit. They kicked him out. Coculuzzi, who had every intention of writing the test, was making a political statement about the farcical process. Just days before the U.S.-produced test was to be written, Education Minister Elizabeth Witmer announced it wouldn’t count but was still mandatory. And because they couldn’t handle the large number of students writing the test in Toronto, hundreds had to be bused to Hamilton. No word if Coculuzzi, who is considering legal action, will seek counsel from Bozo.

ernie’s hearing loss It’s just like the provincial Tories to schedule public hearings on the sale of Hydro One faster than you can say “court appeal.” A grand total of five hearing days will cover eight cities. Earlier this week the mailbox attached to the 1-800 number for individuals who want to appear at the hearings was conveniently full. Why bother, Ernie?

society toasts workers’ hero

Imagine our luck. Just when we got tired of putting cigarette butts out on our foreheads, swingin’ Mike Harris’s trophy squeeze number one, Sharon Dunn, turns up as the society columnist in the National Post. We were totally thrown that she “drank a toast” to anti-corporate prankster Michael Moore’s new film, Bowling For Columbine, after learning from Alliance Atlantis CEO Michael MacMillan that it was Cannes-bound. Pointed sarcasm or puffery? Who knows?

spark up the band

With the federal Liberals balking again on legalizing medicinal marijuana, there couldn’t be a better time to blow some smoke at our pot laws. Osgoode Hall law professor Alan Young will be the grand marshall of the Millennium Marijuana March Sunday (May 5). The Toronto event is just part of a global celebration of cannabis culture. The day starts at noon at Nathan Phillips Square and will include speeches and entertainment. Go to www.cannabisclub.ca or call 416-367-3459 for more info.

sellout of the week

It was inevitable. They are finally paving over paradise. Woodstock purists are aghast that a shopping mall, among other things, is being planned for the 1969 rock ‘n’ roll love-in site in Sullivan County, New York. Go to www.thewoodstockspirit.org and join the letter-writing campaign to the responsible officials — who may also be some of the few people who don’t claim to have been there.

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