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You kids, go play with that broken glass
More proof that Canada undervalues kids. First, Toronto built perilous playgrounds deemed so dangerous they were closed and not replaced for years. Now, as they come back to life, the new equipment at two-thirds of playgrounds tested in T.O. last fall has been shown to contain arsenic levels above federal safety guidelines. The Regent Park playground — surprise — has 10 times the allowable limit, Environmental Defence Canada announced yesterday. Arsenic has been used to treat much of the wooden equipment — great idea — and it’s also found in the woodchips helpfully spread on the ground to break junior’s fall. Hey, I’ll take my chances on hitting the dirt.
Blew Rodeo
happy at home Easy to see why Blue Rodeo members were smiling during their recent sold-out three-night Massey Hall home stand if Toronto Star headline writers are to be believed. The head for the Star’s review of last week’s shows declared, Blue Rodeo home hummer. Let’s see, there are three meanings for hummer: an oversized military car nope, they didn’t get one of those people who don’t know the words nope, they wrote the songs or… a blow job. And a note to the theatre-critic-turned-music-writer who wrote the piece: the song is called 5 Days In May, not 8. Maybe he was thinking of inches.
Mike Harris donates to the NDP
Mike Harris is donating his $75 Ernie Eves Hydro hush money to the NDP. Many Ontarians are donating the dough to worthy causes. But this Harris is from North York, not North Bay, and never dated a washed-up news-reader-turned-faux-news-writer. He’s NDPer Mike D. Harris. The other one has begun his belly-up to the corporate payback trough, taking a position on the board of the Magna Corporation. Yeah, we can see how a brief teaching career and years as a politician make him a key asset to a major corporation’s board of directors.
Marilyn, put the silverware back
Mayor Mel Lastman surprised no one at Tuesday’s I’m-outta-here luncheon. In a bumbling speech he dove deep into his Bartlett’s, citing American Pilgrims and whoever else he found in the index. As he listed successes we view as failures, we felt a twinge of panic at the mayor’s ride into the punishing Florida sunset. No more stew pots, no more moose, no more Hell’s Angels handshakes. C’mon back, li’l guy. What will we write about while you lounge down south in a Speedo and book golf games with MFP honchos?
Feeding Spacey spoonfuls
Kevin Spacey/Kate Winslet thriller The Life Of David Gale hits theatres next month, and Toronto’s David Gale is creating a recipe for revenge. I’m really upset that they didn’t call to offer me the lead, says the actor, director and Gemini Award-winning host of the W Network show Loving Spoonfuls. That Spacey guy kinda looks like me and everything, says the saucy saucier who says he’s planning a pre-emptive strike on the film, but he’s not revealing what retaliatory dish he’ll be serving. Just wait until the film’s opening on February 22, he says, his ire rising like an expanding angel food cake.
