Roll with the Jays
The Toronto Blue Jays stumble on the field while the brass bumble in the backrooms. Still torturing fans by playing God Bless America and dumping the lovable BJ Birdie for a pair of wannabe rap roosters, now they're thinking of changing the team's name to "the Jays." Not bad, but what about the Toronto Blunts? Either way, ZigZag could be a desperately needed sponsor. They could remake the empty corporate SkyBoxes into Bong Boxes, with priority snack service. And the new heavy-lidded fans won't mind the game's plodding pace.
Look at those cut-crazy Conservatives protect our bucks. Earnest Health Minister Tony Clement waved as he jetted to Geneva to meet W.H.O. officials. ("Who dat?" asks Mayor Mel.) But the cost-cutting creeps with fondue fantasies boarded a first-class flight with a $9,957 tab. Clement's precious ass could have occupied an economy seat for $5,096, $1,700 with notice. The savings could have gone to our post-SARS publicity fight.
Sayles Scorns SARS
Talented dancer Andrea Nann pulled a major crowd Friday for her fundraiser for a show inspired by Michael Ondaatje, who was there reading from Anil's Ghost. Singers included Skydiggers Andy Maize and Josh Finlayson, Gord Downie, Andrew Cash and Sarah Harmer. Blue Rodeo's Jim Cuddy, Greg Keelor and Glenn Milchem were in the crowd along with playwright Jason Sherman, author Michael Redhill, dancers Veronica Tennant and Peggy Baker and visiting director John Sayles, who didn't let SARS paranoia keep him out of T.O.
Dundas Sk8ter Square
Enjoying a little sun on Dundas Square and marvelling at its barren, ugly, unused space, we thought that at least it would be great for skateboarding. But when a handful of sk8ters appeared, ready to roll, two bored security guards gave chase. "Go to school" one barked. "I do," said a skater. "Well, stay there," muttered the out-of-touch guard. Every doorway in the area was packed with furtive boarders desperate for some hang time. C'mon, Square people, lighten up. At least the boarders were using the empty space for something.
John Tory's two-faced talk
John Tory has yet to be elected to anything but he's already talking out his ass like a veteran politician. The Man Who Helped Make Mel claims he is aiding the revitalization of the city's SARS-ravaged hospitality industry. But the Canadian Cable Television Association, which Tory chairs, cancelled its April 27-29 conference. What good's a fixer who can't fix?