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Simpsons’ surprise salute to Canada

The Simpsons’ so-called Toronto episode was as big a fizzle as the Y2K fear frenzy. But on last weekend’s season finale, Canada got an unexpected – and stirring – tribute when battling kids refuse to sing the U.S. anthem because it’s a “hymn to war.” Then Bart and his buddies break into a round of O Canada as Marge waves Canadian and Quebec flags and the kids link arms and form a giant maple leaf. We knew this anti-war thing would pay off eventually.

Ontario Place disgrace Ontario Place reopened this weekend and, presto, another reason to be pissed at Ernie Eves. The trippy kids’ playground, a cornerstone for 31 years, is gone. One of the only places in the park where kids could play independently was wiped out because nobody would pay to refurbish the aging, amazing equipment. One more poke in the eye for kids from this Tory government.

Nunziata’s creepy company

One-time Toronto Harbour boss Harold Peerenboom couldn’t remember Tom Jakobek joining him at the infamous Philly Flyers game until the bullshitting ex-budget chief admitted he’d lied. Peerenboom’s also buddies with another mayoralty hopeful, John Nunziata, and when Nunz lost his federal seat back in 2000, sweet Mr. P. gave his pal a job in his Mandrake Management Consultants firm. Peerenboom is helping Nunziata’s campaign, but let’s hope he’s not giving him tips on honesty or recall.

Mammoliti’s monkey business

As the city’s zoo board rep, Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti gets scads of free zoo passes – with parking and rides – to hand out. You’d figure the kind-hearted councillor would share gorilla-gawking goodies with inner-city kids and those a little short on cash. Wrong. Most of the passes go to other councillors, businessmen and the upper crust of this crusty town. People like Norm Gardner and Julian Fantino have had a free ride on the monkey mobile while only a handful of passes have gone to just plain folks.

Groans greet Stones

MP Dennis Mills has never met a wacky idea he didn’t like. His latest is a nutty plan to drop $10 million on a Hey, World, We’re OK Show with the Rolling Stones. People stopped getting excited about Stones concerts 25 years ago, and since Keith Richards has the staying power of a cockroach, nobody will be too impressed by any health scare he can face. The money could be better spent on, well, just about anything to get the city back on its feet.

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