"I love Jesus Christ, I want to make the Canadian version of the musical Jesus Christ Super SARS" - Johnny Lydon aka Rotten at NXNE's keynote address.
Lighten up Lantos
Instead of getting the joke, Robert Lantos is releasing a joke. Talented Canadian director Bruce McDonald admits he blew it making his first big budget flick, the Lantos financed Picture Claire. It was so bad, Lantos wouldn't put the film in theatres. But along the way, McDonald created a stunning piece of art, a directors cut called Claire's Hat, a perfect-for-DVD, re-edited look at the uneasy relationship between cash and art. It was a truly stunning film, shown only once ever, last fall. It takes the piss out of McDonald - -and the thin-skinned Lantos. This week, Picture Claire was released on DVD but without Macdonald's madly inspired take on his effort, just the flop of a flick that nobody believes in.
Gun-lovin loon's high noon
That gun-totin goofball, Norm Gardner has to go. We can sympathize with Toronto's cops who have been stuck with Gardner, a walking embarrassment, on the police services board since 1986. No wonder they have so many problems when someone as unprincipled - and dumb - has had so much power over the force. The buffonish baker's political career is staler than year old doughnuts, time to end his overlong stint as an appointee, regardless of whether any impropriety is found with his taking a free gun from a weapon's manufacturer.
Police pot party stalls
Better keep that bong under wraps a little longer despite Toronto police chief Julian Fantino's declaration that the local flat feet won't be pursuing charges for those packing small amounts of pot. The petulant patroller is just pouting, something about not being able to do his job and on and on. The cops will actually be recording who and how much stash is found with visions of prosecuting us all after the courts "come to their senses". So all the mayoralty candidates, who recently fessed up to whacking the weed, better stay away from the chief when your eyes are red and your smile a little goofy. That means you John Tory.
Desperate Tories look for knock out
Wow, the Tories are really lightening up. You can live in sin and be premier - or head of TVO - and now a few drug issues and brushes with organized crime can be overlooked in candidates. The desperate to hang onto power Tories are trying to coax ferocious fisticuffer, George Chuvalo, to run in the upcoming election they're afraid to call. We think it's just so the next time the premiers meet Eves can tell Ralph Klein - and mean it - "My cabinet minister can kick your cabinet minister's ass."