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Though he won’t admit it, rumour has it that former Seinfeld star and KFC pitchman Jason Alexander has been dumped by Colonel Sanders after animal rights group PETA enlisted him to speak to company execs about the treatment of chickens at the processing plants of KFC suppliers. This after KFC’s senior vice-president gave PETA assurances almost two years ago that the company would phase out the use of crude and ineffective killing methods, among other things. “KFC stands for cruelty in our book,” says PETA spokesperson Bruce Friedrich. More like Killing Fields Corp.
SARS-soaked madness
Organizers may want to consider putting up pot tents instead of beer tents at the next big show. As a crowd-control potion, you can’t beat Mary Jane. Of the 21 people arrested at the SARS Concert For Toronto, all were for booze or booze-related offences. There was not one drug-related offence recorded the entire night, despite dire reefer madness warnings by the fuzz. Last we heard, the yahoo who commandeered a golf cart and got popped for driving while intoxicated was high on Molson’s.
Psychics for Charity, a self-described “psychic network” formed to raise money for the Toronto Humane Society through psychic fairs, sent out its inaugural promo press release this week. We’re not sure if the bold prediction that Ernie Eves and the Tories will hold onto power was floated for effect. It certainly grabbed our attention until, reading a little further, we came to another prognostication: there will be peace in the Middle East. Now we know their crystal ball’s cracked.
It was a beleaguered police Chief Julian Fantino who pleaded for the public’s help at a press conference Tuesday (August 5) after a spree of shootings during the Simcoe Day long weekend. “We can’t handle it alone,” the chief lamented. He seemed genuinely mystified. “How can so many young people be killed and so many wounded, and yet all of this is basically left with the police?” Look within, Chief. Your department has done a good job of shutting out those “elements in the community” (read young black men) you’re now asking for help. Besides, we’re not so sure this “no one will help us” line isn’t a prelude to another of your pet obsessions – namely, installing closed-circuit cameras on our streets.
