A visit to the official U.S. Immigration Web site, greencardplus.com, offers a helpful tip. Along with listing the onerous efforts required to become an American (screw you, Statue of Liberty), the site declares under the heading Canadian Immigration that "Our neighbor to the north has a very generous immigration policy," and there's a helpful link to a Canadian immigration site. So all you terrorists should forget Texas and check out the tundra. And why are we setting up missile defence for a country that wants to send us their problems?
Who needs adult councillors?"Recreation, not ammunition" is the way to fight crime says 18 year-old Toronto Youth Cabinet Member Stefany Hanson. Hanson was arguing for four moth-balled coomunity recreation centres to be built rather than a new $47-million police shooting range. Maybe they'll bring back night basketball too.
Osama, try Toronto, not Tallahassee
Dishonest Dalton's desperationDesperate Dalton McGuinty invoked an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan to bolster the nervous party faithful last week and urged lamenting Liberals to take it "one day at a time." He said it's mainly because of the meat that people love the Libs, since more meat inspectors and the minimally increasing minimum wage are the only promises he has sort of kept. We're still waiting for his shrieking Sally Field-esque "You like me, you really, really like me!"
Missile mania a mistakeThe feds are flummoxed about America's insane outer space missiles but might let the U.S. set up an anti-ballistic missile system in Canada. So who's left to launch missiles at North America? Iraq could barely get its Scuds to Israel. A look at the map shows bankrupt North Korea is too far away. The real threat is terrorism, so why make Canada a target by joining in the Americans' expensive - and dumb - scheme?
More Britney, fewer bulletsCranky cop Julian Fantino may lose his house organ when the Toronto Sun cools its crime hysteria next month. Faced with huge circulation losses, mostly to the freebie daily Metro, Sun honchos want readers who can actually stand erect - and read. British tabloids are the model, a format already hinted at by the Sun's own freebie, 24 Hours. Look for more entertainment and celebrity gossip and less crime reporting and right-wing ranting as the paper trolls for female and minority readers.