Idol's idyllic existence
Congratulations to the newest Canadian Idol, Alberta's Kalan Porter. He must be breathlessly anticipating living the dream life that is Ryan Malcolm's, the first Idol winner. It's a shimmery, shiny existence filled with concert tours cancelled due to poor ticket sales, no radio play, lukewarm record sales and the chance to stand forlornly at parties while people ask themselves, "Who is that guy?" Malcolm was last seen in a three-second non-speaking role in the film Phil The Alien. Hold onto your hat, Kalan. It's going to be a helluva ride.
“We are Ontario's team, and I look forward to bringing integrity, accountability and Conservative common sense back to Queen's Park.”
Be very afraid as newly minted top Tory John Tory fondly invokes Mike Harris's hated Common Sense Revolution despite campaigning as a moderate.
McGuinty's empty gesture
Dalton McGuinty's Fiberals probably won't run a candidate in the by-election to insert Conservative leader John Tory into the legislature. Some gesture. Suffering daily humiliation, McGuinty's gang of liars can do without a bone-crushing by-election defeat at the hands of the vampire-like resurgent Tories. While Tory will get a safe seat, likely reviled ex-premier Ernie Eves's, McGuinty would suffer a monumental ass-kicking, underlining the voter disgust oozing across this province like a fast-spreading stain.
Klein cowers at cream pie
Erratic Alberta premier Ralph Klein is more comfortable with cow pies than cream pies. The booze-lovin' bigwig got "pied" at last year's Calgary Stampede and now claims all kinds of hardship and fear of baked goods since the attack by political protestor Christopher Geoghegan. But the protestor's 30-day prison sentence is no joke and tough justice considering pugilistic pols like Klein are only too happy to exploit photo ops but don't find it funny when someone tries to strip the event of its power. Maybe Geoghegan should have thrown beer nuts instead.
Fantino flops foolishly
Time for the marshal to git out of town by sundown. Dramatically out-of-touch police Chief Julian Fantino keeps demonstrating that his best-before date is long past. His latest lunacy sees him calling for the fingerprints and photos of people charged but not convicted of crimes to be kept on file. It's called due process, Chief, and if you're not guilty, you're innocent. Innocent people shouldn't be treated like criminals - that's how the system works. Might as well just go door-to-door in high crime neighbourhoods and fingerprint everybody just in case. Take the gold watch, the teary goodbyes and get lost, Julian. Time's up.