Paul haywood and rodney pentland
Paul Haywood and Rodney Pentland are like the Abbott and Costello of the local comedy scene. Actually, they're not. I just said that because Haywood is tall and thin and Pentland is shorter and stockier.
Since winning Yuk Yuk's Funniest New Comic competition in 1998, the Scarborough-born Haywood's amassed a following for his sarcastic, acerbic stand-up. His jokes cut like razors.
The Niagara Falls-raised Pentland, on the other hand, is a master of impressions. Bill Cosby, Bobby De Niro, Marlon Brando -- they're all in his comic arsenal, just waiting to make you laugh as he places them in one surreal situation after another.
The two share the headlining spot this weekend at the Laugh Resort. See comedy listings, page 75, for details.
If you were in al Qaeda, what would be in your cave? Pentland: Nothing but boy bands and, hopefully, precious little oxygen.
Cut or uncut? Pentland: I'm pro-choice myself.
Haywood: Whatever, as long as it's cooked.
Who'd you like to have a threesome with? Haywood: Let's start with the Belleville brothers... deelish!
Best meal under $5? Pentland: Kraft Dinner and a bag of milk. I like it soupy.
Are drugs and alcohol rampant in comedy? Haywood: All I know, Glenn, is, it's not inzenze stick, OK?! Lessy talky, more smoky.
Pentland: Why? Are you a cop?
Last movie that made you openly weep? Pentland: Death, Your Colon And You.
Late-night TV guilty pleasure? Haywood: Loaf of bread, stick of butter, hand cream, Matlock.
Pentland: The scrambled porn squint dance.
What should we do with hecklers? Haywood: They should be illegal, like the homeless.
What are the Ides of March? Pentland: I'm not sure, but there's a cream you can get.