The rumours are true: the fab four are reuniting. The Frantics, darlings of the CBC airwaves from the mid-1980s - yes, 1980s - are back together with a bit less hair and a bit more girth but with all of their surreal satire intact. These days you can see individual members Dan Redican, Rick Green, Paul Chato and Peter Wildman in everything from Puppets Who Kill to The Red Green Show. Or you can join diehard fans witnessing the group's first major show in a decade at the New Year's Eve Show at Massey Hall. They're joined by a terrific lineup that includes Daryn Jones, Jessica Holmes and host Seán Cullen. See Comedy Listings for details.
Why are the Frantics reuniting?
Paul: RRSP money.
Rick: Dan is getting so old and feeble with the Alzheimer's, it was now or never.
Dan: To get chicks. It didn't work before, but this time for sure.
Peter: The Frantics? I thought this was a tribute troupe to Wayne and Shuster.
Who's aged the best in the past 10 years?
Paul: I don't know, but when I stand next to Rick, I look really good.
Rick: I agree with Paul. When he's near me, he looks good. When he stands anywhere else he looks like crap.
Dan: That scotch I stashed behind the furnace is doing pretty well.
Which New Year's resolutions are you going to keep?
Paul: No sex for a year. Perhaps longer.
Rick: No sex with Paul for a year. Definitely longer.
Peter: Go back to school and get my grade 10.
Which resolutions don't stand a chance?
Paul: Harper becoming PM.
Rick: My promise to end world hunger. I hate cooking.
Dan: Curbing my flatulence.
Advice for hockey lovers?
Peter: Your lover has left town and won't be coming back.
Rick: One word: CFL. Normal salaries. Constant hitting. Cheap seats. And Toronto wins!
What did MP Carolyn Parrish get from her Secret Santa?
Paul: Sheila Copps's autobiography.
Peter: A Dale Carnegie book.
Rick: A green card.
What does CBC really stand for?
Rick: Comedy by Committee.
Peter: You want me to bite the hand that doesn't feed me? Cutback Central.
Paul: I'm the suck-up toady of the group. I love you, CBC!