Who's gonna be the next big comedy sensation? This Monday's (November 22) Cream Of Comedy showcase could be the place to find out. Five nominees vie for the $3,500 Tim Sims Encouragement Fund Award for best up-and-coming comic or comedy troupe. Elvira Kurt hosts a night that includes the all-female sketch troupe Women Fully Clothed as well as the nominees: stand-ups Darrin Rows and Mike Balazo, sketch/improv duo Iron Cobra (Becky Johnson and Graham Wagner), sketch troupe Knock Knock (Who's There?) Comedy! (Adam Brodie, Katie Crown, Dave Derewlany and Aaron Eves) and character comic Katie Crown (who's the awards' first artist to be nominated twice). See Comedy Listings for details.
How would you describe your humour?
Rows: A way to make up for my inability to play sports.
Balazo: My humour will give you the tools you need to increase your earning power.
Crown: Comfortable shoes, slacks and a matching top - what an outfit!
Iron Cobra: Perfunctory.
KK (WT?) C!: Smart poo humour wrapped in ancient mysticism.
You're the love child of two artists - who are they?
Balazo: Don Knotts and Peaches.
Rows: Seinfeld and the girl with man hands.
Crown: Alex Trebek and Glenn Close.
Why do you deserve to win?
Iron Cobra: We don't. We're hacks, cheaters and frauds.
Rows: Karma owes me one.
KK (WT?) C!: We have information about who started the Toronto Island fire this summer.
Why don't you deserve to win?
Iron Cobra: Oops.
Rows: In real life, I'm a prick.
KK (WT?) C!: Katie started the Toronto Island fire.
Worst part-time job?
Balazo: Painting children's faces at the Leprosy Fair. It rained the whole time.
Crown: I quit!
If you win, how will you spend the $3,500?
Balazo: Wiping out racism once and for all.
Rows: 3,500 loonies to give to the homeless. Or a fur coat made of baby minks.
Rows: Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Gerry Dee, Chris Rock.
Balazo: The brave men and women of our armed forces.
All-time favourite sitcom?
KK (WT?) C!: Seeing Things.
Rows: CNN's Crossfire.
If you were a porn star, what would your name be?
KK (WT?) C!: Bush Knew.
Crown: Tickley Picklebum.
Rows: Cunt Dracula.
Balazo: Penis McFiddlesticks.
Iron Cobra: Iron Cobra.
Most interesting thing in your garbage can?
KK (WT?) C!: The hands of private investigators.
Iron Cobra: Our hopes and dreams.
Where do you wanna be in five?
KK (WT?) C!: Perfecting our "Million-Dollar Handshake.
Rows: Demoralizing a personal assistant. But nicely.
Balazo: Reading the eulogy at Ben Mulroney's funeral.
Is Cream Of Comedy a good title?
Iron Cobra: Sure. All good things go rancid eventually.
Rows: Not according to the girls I've tried to impress with it.