Appearing at Yuk Yuk's Downtown (224 Richmond West) through September 29416-967-6425
Q: You're performing the same night that Nuit Blanche begins. Why shouldsomeone see you and not visit some light sculpture?
A: Come see me because light sculptures tell stupid fart jokes and myfart jokes are brilliant.
Q: Will you be doing stand-up till early Sunday morning?
A: I will fall through a trap door at 12:01 Sunday morning and be takento the Bat Cave.
Q: Are comedy clubs a good place to pick up?
A: No, because everyone assumes I'm an undercover cop. But I'd be thekind of cop who could be bribed with nachos.
Q: So what's this referendum all about anyway?
A: Let me look up the referendum issue on the Internet.... Wait, I'mbeing distracted by porn.... Next question.
Q: If your life were a reality show, what would it be called?
A: It would be called Dave Martin's Party For One. The Biggest Loser isalready taken.
Q: Who would be the show's main TV sponsor?
A: I would like to say my pot dealer, but he'd probably kill me.Seriously, I'd love the sponsors to be the Burrito Boyz and the Mr.Frosty Ice Cream Truck that pulls up in front of my house every day.
Q: Last Comic Standing - fixed?
A: If by "fixed" you mean predictable and boring, yeah. But it doesbring people out to the clubs, so it's two steps forward and one stepback... landing in dog shit.