Tired of roasted turkey? How about some roasted Mike Harris? Playwright Darren O'Donnell and producer Naomi Campbell, fed up with Ontario's ungenerous policies toward its citizens, have organized Bye Mike!, a cabaret to which 13 playwrights are contributing five-minute sketches. Some'll be pre-show guerrilla theatre this week at the Tarragon, Buddies, Factory and Passe Muraille. Full evenings -- pieces rotate nightly -- begin October 16 at VideoCab's Cameron House space (408 Queen West).
Here are some highlights, and the writers' personal invitation to Mike Harris.
WHO -- Michael Healey
WHAT -- Eleven Hundred, in which the government screws a hooker.
HARRISMENT PITCH -- "Pleese cum. It's funy and aboot educashun... I meen job markit preparashun."
WHO -- Darren O'Donnell
WHAT -- Kim's Kid, about the effect of Harris's policies on a woman and her child.
HARRISMENT PITCH -- "If you don't come see the show, we'll kill your kids. Just kidding. We'll just make them drink a glass of Walkerton water."
WHO -- Karen Hines
WHAT -- Foster Child, in which toxic clown Pochsy comments on the state of indigent young ones.
HARRISMENT PITCH -- "It's a fabular meditation on poor little children and the god(s) who protect(s) them so that we need not. (Note to Mike: 'fabular' means 'in the style of a fable.')"
WHO -- James O'Reilly
WHAT -- Two Days Away From The Street, a hurtin' ballad about two Parkdale guys facing an astronomical rent increase.
HARRISMENT PITCH -- (to be sung with a country twang) "Hey there Mike, come try a little art. / It could plug that hole in the middle of your heart."
WHO -- James Harkness
WHAT -- Look Busy, about a pigeon feeder pondering a pricey meal.
HARRISMENT PITCH -- I was disappointed when you didn't attend my last show; maybe this time. I understand -- you're busy denying all sorts of terrible things."