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Movies & TV

Minions

MINIONS (Pierre Coffin, Kyle Balda). 91 minutes. Opens Friday (July 10). See listing. Rating: NN


There’s no better way to nurture your children’s lack of focus then to have them sit through Minions. The aimless, shapeless adventures that befall those cute little cretins from Despicable Me are designed for anyone who wants to tune in and out, perhaps browsing their iPad in the theatre, without missing a beat.

It’s a movie that runs on absurdist tangents, with plenty of insider sight gags for adults (some that actually afford a chuckle) but only the repetition of the word “banana” for kids. Brian Lynch’s script, directed by Pierre Coffin (the voice of the minions) and Kyle Balda, never amounts to the kind of story where a child could point out the beginning, middle and end.

The minions have survived evolution by tagging along with whatever creature was at the top of the food chain. Now, in New York in 1968, they’re on a search for a super-villain to serve. Then they land in London and hatch a caper with Scarlet Overkill (voiced by Sandra Bullock) to steal the monarchy. Seeing the minions end up in your Happy Meal would not have been a stretch in this movie. (Actually, it would have been more to the point.)

The running gags in this prequel/spinoff are the same nasal sounds and occasional pratfall-induced squeals that worked so effectively as comic relief in previous outings. Unfortunately, the minions, so sparely drawn and characterized, can’t carry a movie.

Over 90 minutes you wonder what made them so appealing to begin with. They’re small, yellow and speak some cross between gibberish and Spanish. In their blue overalls and their search for some exploitative oppressor to serve, they come off like the perfect metaphor for illegal migrants – or they would if we weren’t supposed to laugh at them.

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