Every Valentine’s Day since 2006, loved ones of missing and murdered Indigenous women and their supporters have been gathering at Toronto police headquarters for prayer, drumming and song, and to share their love and grief.
For 13 years, Wanda Whitebird of the Mi’kmaq nation Bear Clan has guided the event. “Many of us are not family members of missing or murdered women,” she says, “but as women and mothers and grandmothers, we are affected.
“This is something we can do to let them know that they are part of our community,” she continues, “and that we love them and have never forgotten. We pray for justice and closure that those who are missing are found and returned home so that grieving can begin.”
The annual event grew from a small group of Indigenous women and allies from No More Silence, which works on issues of violence against women. They wanted to confront an unresponsive justice system while comforting the families of victims. They came up with the idea of holding an annual Strawberry ceremony.
“Strawberries are important,” explains Whitebird. “In Ojibwe they are heart berries, ode’min. They teach us about love and courage. It’s very significant that berries come in different growing seasons, and the strawberries are first.”
Organizers chose February 14 as the date to coincide with long-standing Valentine’s Day rallies in Vancouver where, since 1991, denizens of the Downtown Eastside have been calling public and police attention to disappearing women. Serial killer Robert Pickton was arrested in 2002 and eventually convicted of murdering 27 women, many of them Indigenous.
John Bonnar
Whitebird recalls, “[The remembrance] was small in the early years. In the beginning, police surrounded us, in yellow jackets and bikes. But now they know we’re coming and they don’t bother us.”
The event, which attracted close to 1,000 people this year, has come a long way, from a few dozen women to grassroots action across the country that finally led to a National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls last year. Its creation was celebrated, but for families at the ceremony, its failure to examine the police role or include families, has been a huge disappointment.
Whitebird explains, “What the families want is justice, and an inquiry’s not going to give them that, because they can’t question the police.” It’s not hard to see connections between police inaction on violence against Indigenous women and other issues that involve police and the justice system.
Whitebird began this year’s event with a moment of silence for Colten Boushie and his family “to recognize how we as Indigenous people are feeling” following the acquittal of farmer Gerald Stanley on second-degree murder charges in the shooting death of the 22-year-old Indigenous man.
On this February 14, the ceremony welcomes those whose gender identities make them subject to extreme marginalization. “We are losing our transgender women. They need to be recognized by us, to feel loved.”
But Whitebird says she’d like to see a day set aside to commemorate Indigenous people who have died in encounters with the justice system, or who have not found justice. She suggests September 6, the day in 1995 when a police bullet ended the life of Stony Point defender Dudley George.
Men come to the event to show support. The Native Men’s Residence cooks the feast that is held afterward. This year, a bereaved mother who is bringing up four grandchildren spoke at the ceremony. There was an honour song for the families.
“All the people who come, come with love in their hearts,” says Whitebird. “These are the ways of our people forever.”
John Bonnar
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