Yule be laughing

Performer, Sharron And George's Super Fun Christmas Sing-A-LongFavourite holiday drink?The holidays are all about being inclusive, so why limit yourself.


Performer, Sharron And George’s Super Fun Christmas Sing-A-Long

Favourite holiday drink?

The holidays are all about being inclusive, so why limit yourself to just one kind of holiday beverage? That’s barbaric.

All-time favourite holiday gift?

My husband, George, just reminded me that he got me these beautiful candle holders for our first Christmas together. So romantic. He then reminded me that I got him a digital organizer. Control freak much? It’s a wonder he even married me.

Is it better to give or receive?

I tried to give a gingerbread snowman to a kid at Starbucks who was admiring them in the case. Then he asked if he could receive two gingerbread snowmen instead. Huh? So I continue to do the research on this subject. (This is why I do not have kids.)

Favourite movie Scrooge?

This is gonna get me in all kinds of trouble, but I hate those Scrooge movies. Alastair Sim, Sims – whatever…. It just goes on and on. So I pick Scrooge McDuck, because he’s animated, so his version is probably really short and over fast.

Least favourite real-life Scrooge?

Stephen Harper. Not only is he a political curmudgeon, but more importantly, his cover of Sweet Child Of Mine made me want to take my life. Yes, he’s not killing it as prime minister either, but it’s his musical interpretation that I truly take umbrage at.

Why should people spend their time with you, George and your guests when they can see The Nutcracker?

Cookies! Song sheets! Singalongs! Drinks! Guests from heaven – Thom Allison, Louise Pitre, Micah Barnes, Shawn Hitchins, Bruce Dow…. People, must I go on? It is the Christmas party to end all Christmas parties. And The Nutcracker… is called The NUTcracker. Base, but need I say more?

Any New Year’s resolutions?

To stop binge-watching crap on Netflix while I eat my lunch. Lunch turns into dinner, and then before I know it I have lost a whole day on the Gilmore Girls. What has become of me? Oh, and world peace.

December 19 to 21 at Buddies in Bad Times. $20. 416-975-8555.

Actor, Venus In Fur

Favourite holiday drink?

Rum & nog. So typical.

All-time favourite holiday gift?

My parents got me a dog for my 12th birthday. It was mostly to distract me from the impending divorce, but still….

Is it better to give or receive?

Giving. Especially when it’s something you’ve had a hand in making yourself.

Favourite movie Scrooge?

Alastair Sim. So typical.

Least favourite real-life Scrooge?

Credit card companies charging 19.9 per cent interest (see below).

Why should someone see Venus In Fur and not The Nutcracker or A Christmas Carol?

Because the holidays should be spicy.

Best (and worst) things that happened to you in 2014?

Best: gave “birth” to two new shows. Worst: maxed out all credit cards paying for said shows.

Any New Year’s resolutions?

Pay off all credit cards (see above).

What big scandal will there be in 2015?

It’s a federal election year. Some politico is going to get caught with his pants down or his hand in the cookie jar.

Your big show, BOOM, is coming up in January. To draw from the title of another Rick Miller show, give me the Hardsell about it – in 20 words or less.

BOOM: Explosive new show about the baby boom generation. 1 man, 25 years, 100 characters. Will blow your mind!

December 18 to 28, Berkeley Street Theatre. $30-$59. 416-368-3110.

Host, Massey Hall’s New Year’s Eve Comedy Extravaganza

Favourite holiday drink?

My new favourite holiday drink is eggnog. Every year I have a glass of it to see if it’s still disgusting. But this year I liked it. #growingup

All-time favourite holiday gift?

A Toronto Maple Leafs hockey sweater, of course. )

Is it better to give or receive?

Is this a trick question???

Favourite movie Scrooge?

Michael Caine in The Muppet Christmas Carol and Bill Murray in Scrooged.Least favourite real-life Scrooge?

Osama bin Laden.

Why should people spend their New Year’s Eve with you and not someone else?

Ringing in 2015 with some laughs will be a great way to kick off the new year: 2015 is a year to stay positive and have fun.

Best (and worst) things that happened to you in 2014?

I met my amazing girlfriend, and we started touring the world together doing stand-up comedy. The worst thing that happened: I got in some trouble while wearing a Polkaroo costume.

Any New Year’s resolutions?

Tweet less and use smartphone less. Try to stay positive and connected to the real people around us. Spend less time on electronics and social media. Eat more cheese.

What big scandal will there be in 2015?

Canadian children’s show icon Polkaroo will get charged with shoplifting 200 pounds of Canadian

cheddar.

December 31, 7:30 pm, at Massey Hall. $39.50-$69.50. 416-872-4255.

writer/performers, A Very Cory Christmas

Favourite holiday drink?

SEILER: Anything noggy and boozy. BoozeNog. Yum.

ASH: Around the holidays I like a nice whisky cocktail with just a dash of cocaine. I call it a White Christmas.

All-time favourite holiday gift?

ASH: There’s really no better gift at the holidays than getting word that you’re HIV-negative. That’s the gift that keeps giving all year! Or at least until the next time a condom breaks with a questionable man you met behind an Arby’s in Etobicoke.

SEILER: This year all I want is sleep. I just would really like some sleep.

Is it better to give or receive?

ASH: Personally, I don’t give unless I receive. You know what I mean? I’m talking about oral here, folks.

Favourite movie Scrooge?

ASH: Michael Caine in The Muppet Christmas Carol. And I bet Seiler would agree with me on this. Though Scrooge McDuck was also very well cast in Mickey’s Christmas Carol.

SEILER: 1,000 per cent what she said.

What can we look forward to in A Very Cory Christmas?

ASH: We wish we knew! But, hey, we still have four days to finish writing, rehearsing and memorizing! Tons of time! What’s that? Our faces are sweating?

SEILER: Us doing a huge shot at the end because we survived this week.

Least favourite real-life Scrooge?

SEILER: Kim Jong-un. He for sure would let Tiny Tim die.

Message to Jian Ghomeshi?

ASH: You are a horrible, disgusting, nightmare of a human being. I’m shocked I haven’t dated you.

Best (and worst) things that happened to you in 2014?

ASH: BEST: spending four days in Disneyland with Leslie Seiler. WORST: Recovering from four days in Disneyland with Leslie Seiler.

SEILER: 1,000 per cent what she said.

Any New Year’s resolutions?

SEILER: Stop eating like I have the metabolism of a teenage boy.

ASH: Start taking some risky diet pill that will allow me to eat like I have the metabolism of a teenage boy.

What big scandal will there be in 2015?

ASH: I’m predicting a very torrid, scandalous love affair between myself and David Duchovny.

Worst gift ever received?

SEILER: Something my ex-boyfriend bought me with my debit card.

ASH: An ex bought me an iPad case once. I’ve never owned an iPad.

December 22 and 23, 8 pm, Comedy Bar. $10. comedybar.ca.

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