Swipe left, swipe right… a lot of us have done it at least once. Dating apps like Tinder are a popular way for people to meet potential partners, but for queer communities, these platforms play a larger role than just matchmaking. They are also a place for community connections to be made.
Tinder conducted an in-app survey among Canadian users aged 18-34 years old between May and June 2024, finding that 60 per cent of respondents say that online dating plays an important part in fostering connections and relationships within the queer community.
Tinder enlisted the help of Canadian Relationship Expert and Sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly for the study. At a Toronto event to unveil the findings on Wednesday, O’Reilly explained that these apps create safe spaces for marginalized communities and are an important tool for helping queer people explore their own identity.
“Online spaces are so important for cultivating digital connection, cultivating digital empathy, and also for understanding your identity within the context of the greater queer community,” O’Reilly told Queer & Now.
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She explained that two-thirds of Canadian queer daters say they have met friends through dating apps.
“So, the intention may be to have an intimate connection, but the connection is connection and we don’t have to have that hierarchy of connection and that is also very queer.”
DATING APPS AS A SAFE SPACE
In addition to their ability to connect 2SLGBTQ+ people, when used for their traditional purpose, these apps also allow queer people the freedom to learn more about themselves by exploring their identity and preferences in a safe environment.
“We’re not safe in all spaces and we’re aware of that. We’re aware of the amount of money being invested in security at queer Pride events,” O’Reilly shared. “The reality is not as optimistic as what we’re hearing from people who are feeling safe dating online.”
Tinder found that more than 60 per cent of respondents agreed that these online platforms provide a space for them to express their authentic selves. Meanwhile, 86 per cent of 2SLGBTQ+ Canadians are at least somewhat open to exploring dating people outside of their typical “type,” and 69 per cent say that dating apps have helped them learn more about the types of people they are attracted to and would consider dating.
FINDING COMMUNITY AND FINDING YOURSELF
Ottawa-based activist and content creator Haley Robinson shared that growing up in western Canada, they turned to dating apps as a means of finding other members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community.
“Growing up in Calgary it was so hard for me to find queer friends,” Robinson explained, adding “It was really hard to even find queer connections.”
Using dating apps allowed them to find queer community online, connecting with 2SLGBTQ+ people in different parts of the country and around the world. Robinson echoed the fact that these apps provide a safe social environment for people who may not be comfortable living as their authentic selves.
“Even though we have been progressing a lot, there is still a lot of lateral violence towards queer people. A lot of people don’t feel safe to be out in public, which is understandable, but being able to go online creates a safe space where they can be authentically themselves without dealing with that hate or that violence,” Robinson said.
“It allows them to maybe even look more into who they are and explore that more.”
This is something that gay Toronto model, designer, and advocate Mina Gerges shared his experiences with.
“A lot of us have internalized being ashamed of ourselves, but now you can just be yourself from the comfort of your own home and meet someone who is potentially going to be the love of your life,” Gerges told Queer & Now.
This sentiment is echoed by Tinder users, 45 per cent of whom say that self-expression feels safer in dating apps than in real-life.
“We are bullied our entire lives, we’re ashamed of ourselves, we live in a society that puts us in a box and we’re told as young as we are that we should be ashamed of who we are and hiding who we are,” Gerges said. “But dating apps become a space for us to try to unlearn all of that and overcome it to be our authentic selves.”
“For me personally it started off as always being scared, but now I’m fully my authentic self and I think being on dating apps helped me in that journey.”
