Toronto’s best junk food

April 22, 2015Edie Pazienza

Shakes and Franks

The Leone brothers, lifelong fast food fans, missed out on the burger takeover of Toronto but are at the forefront of what’s about to be the meteoric rise of the hot dog. (You heard it here first.) At their Beaches eatery, they top Nathan’s Famous ballpark franks with all manner of indulgent fixings, including a velvety, Velveeta-esque homemade mac and cheese for the bacon-wrapped Mac Attack ($6.75). Pair yours with an ultra-dense shake ($5 to $7) in flavours like salted caramel or banana cream pie. Despite opening in the dead of winter, they’ve whipped up 2,500 of them since January.

2032 Queen East, at Lee, 647-349-9328, shakesandfranks.com

Bake Shoppe

No longer known as the Wedding Cake Shoppe, this bakery on College is becoming known for its updated takes on processed kids’ treats. (They’ll still make a glorious cake, though.) Its notorious marshmallow treats swap the Rice Krispies for crushed-up Ruffles chips ($2.25), and made-from-scratch Pop Tarts are filled with Nutella or Kitten & The Bear jams ($2.25). If those sell out – and they probably will – you may have to settle for a s’mores bar ($3.50) with a house-made marshmallow redolent with vanilla extract over a milk chocolate filling and a buttery graham crumb crust. You can even have it blowtorched to order.

859 College, at Ossington, 416-916-2253, bakeshoppeto.com

S’mores bar ($3.50).

Toronto Popcorn Company

If you’ve ever chomped your way through one of those giant tubs of Kernels, you won’t want to sleep on this tiny Kensington Market shop, where almost 40 flavours of the fluffy stuff – savoury or candy-coated – are available for sampling in turn-crank candy machines. Yep, plenty of people snack and leave, but the staff are kept more than busy scooping and sealing bags to order. Caramel-cheddar, the classic “Chicago mix,” is their top seller ($6 small), while the broiled fish and seafood is the most head-turning flavour (it actually just tastes like lemon and herbs, $3.50 small). After some extensive (ahem) testing, my go-to is still the bacon and cheddar ($3.50 small) – though the maple bacon technically wins for containing real bacon bits.

147 Baldwin at Spadina, 1-844-767-8368, torontopopcorncompany.com

Barton Snacks

A shining beacon in the night for the Drake and Gladstone crowds post-last-call, Barton Snacks’ West Queen West location exists solely as an ode to drunk food. Tacos and hot dogs – including the flawless White Trash ($6), which comes topped with bacon strips, Cheez Whiz, potato chips and ketchup – rule the menu, but if on a particular night your cravings are starch-oriented, go for the tater tots poutine ($8). The tots, more porous than fries, disintegrate nicely into the abundant curds and inch of gravy at the bottom, and could probably double as the ultimate hangover breakfast. (Just do yourself a favour and get there before 1:50 am.)

1120 Queen West, at Lisgar, 647-351-5444

Tater tots poutine ($8).

Holy Chuck

Gluttony gets a badge of honour at this midtown burger joint, where poutine comes topped with foie gras ($29.99) and burgers are pretty much served with two patties at a minimum. The short but (ridiculously) sweet dessert menu has carnival faves like funnel cake ($6.99) and the fried Twinkie ($5.99). The latter presents a fascinating mix of textures: a golden, beignet-like crust with a melted-icing-infused interior that almost recalls pancakes or French toast (an illusion bolstered by whipped cream and blueberry compote). Regrettably, ice cream on mine was freezer-burned, but a deep-fried Twinkie is still a deep-fried Twinkie.

1450 Yonge at St. Clair, 416-962-4825, holychuckburgers.com