It takes all of 20 seconds to fill out a Facebook profile. Doing the same on a dating site, though, can be an excruciating, hours-long process.
That’s because dating sites try to filter you into a pre-set online identity, while social networks let you create your own.
Take eHarmony’s arduous Personality Profile, which asks a series of bewildering questions in order to find your match.
How does the first question, something along the lines of “Who besides your parents inspires you?” narrow down the search?
Say I answer Jimmy Carter would I be matched up with a fellow admirer of the 39th president? Would we wear comfortable sweaters and talk about the 1979 energy crisis on our first date?
Many of the questions (hundreds, in fact) on eHarmony are similarly unhelpful. They might as well ask your favourite algebraic expression – though that would be easy to answer (I would choose a polynomial) compared to most of the slushy questions in the survey.
Still, eHarmony claims responsibility for an average 542 marriages a day in the U.S., and even more first dates (though the site doesn’t allow same-sex coupling, so that may skew statistics).
The statistics sound impressive, but put those numbers up against other social networks. How many sparks flew over Twitter?
Online dating, as everyone is aware by now, is big business. But meeting online doesn’t have to mean costly middlemen like eHarmony (up to $59 per month!).
All eHarmony does is run an algorithm to identify shared interests and compatibility based on your profile. But many sites out there are doing a much better job of this. So why not use those instead?
For instance, everyone who watched The Social Network knows that Facebook started out as something of a dating site. It wouldn’t be too hard to return it to its roots.
Explore your friends’ friends, and friends of those friends. Then try friending the friends of friends you meet and viewing those friends’ friends also.
Tag attractive photos of yourself so all the various layers of friends can see. Add a few funny status updates and already you’ve revealed a lot more about yourself than most online dating profiles.
If I wanted to attract attention online, I’d start a Tumblr blog called JOSHUA ERRETT IS SINGLE. Then, with all the freedom I’d have to express myself there, I’d post about all the exciting things I do. Interested parties would flock to the site.
If online dating isn’t letting you put yourself out there, I’d suggest you try the same.
joshuae@nowtoronto.com
