Dear Sasha,
I am 22 years old and am strongly considering working as a stripper, since my full-time job does not pay my rent.
I am already living in the cheapest apartment I can find, with minimal expenses (no internet, pay-as-you-go phone, few groceries). My full-time job is the best I can find, and very few places are hiring right now. I went by a few clubs, but many are full-contact, which I am not comfortable with (i.e., customers touching my bare breasts). Are there any good clubs that are not full-contact that you would recommend?
Ready to Bare
I’m afraid those days are coming to a close, Ready. If you’re looking to do sex work where there is no contact, your best bet would be to try something like internet porn, phone sex (though I don’t know – it’s 2011, right? Do people even have telephones any more?) or domination that doesn’t include a lot of intimate touching. Virtually all clubs in Toronto feature contact dancing.
Still, stripping, contact or no, seems to be on its last legs, or at the very least is going through a rough patch. When I was back in Montreal last week I was saddened to see the Chateau du Sexe was no more and to hear that another club was being razed for condos. I was elated when Montreal began turning its churches into housing, but its strip clubs? Sacrilege.
If you want to go dance in Montreal, a few clubs continue to offer non-contact dances. Wanda’s (celebrating its 35th anniversary this year) is one, and Chez Paree, which offers both lap and table dancing, is another.
A Watchful Pair
Dear Sasha,
Do you know anywhere where couples can watch other couples have sex? Swing clubs, live sex shows, etc?
Kinky Couple
I have heard nothing but good things (with the exception of complaints from gay men who were crushed to see their beloved Club Toronto go the way of the Toolbox) about the Oasis Aqualounge. From one old queen to a bunch of others, I hear you boys. I am sorry that your community has had to endure the disappearance of another landmark social club, but I will say that the options for kinky heterosexuals and underserved communities like queer women and men and transpeople could definitely use some plumping up.
Oasis is open to straight people (in mainstream sex-club terms that’s straight couples and women) from Thursday to Saturday day and night but is amenable to hosting queer sex parties on off nights.
Toni Johnson, one of the owners, is a super-nice lady. As I mentioned, her initial goal was to service the heterosexual population, but as she says, she “didn’t want to be a hog” about the beautiful space, which includes a heated pool open year round, and has opened the space up to serve a more diverse crowd for special occasions.
Carrie Gray of long-standing fetish get-together ASLAN is stoked about throwing one of his Switch parties at Oasis on February 6. Gray’s hired Cozmic Cat to DJ and has pole dancers – my partner Kitty Neptune and one of her acolytes, Chy Ryan Spain, both of whom are madly talented – to entertain. It’s open to all queer-identified folks, including those who are straight but may find the usual heterocentric sex party a little vanilla or finicky for their tastes.
Oasis has five different rooms, including one with a kitted-out van sawed in half, a hot tub that holds 10, steam rooms, a sauna, showers, towels and a big-screen TV for porn on which Gray plans to screen amateur and independent work during February’s festivities. Switch also features a room with a video camera for hardcore exhibitionists where activity is streamed, with full consent, of course, online.
The new Oasis owners have gone to a lot of trouble to revitalize this rundown heritage building. Johnson, who has frequented swing clubs for many years but is a first-time business owner, was excited to restore what she could of the 130-year-old mansion and seems quite tickled to be at the helm of an adult playhouse.
“In the afternoon it’s a little quieter,” she says, “and the other day I could hear one older couple playing hide and seek.” Skin tag, you’re it!
For details on the Switch party, go to this site. For details on Oasis Aqualounge, go to this blog.
Don’t Have a Hairy
Dear Sasha,
I hate my pubic hair. I like to be as clean, smooth and groomed as possible. I usually do Brazilians, but I hate how I have to let the hair grow so much between waxings.
I’ve thought about hair removal cream, but I’m afraid of the chemicals and burning (this might just be my own ignorance) and I want to just shave, but I’m afraid of potentially becoming more vulnerable to disease if I, in some small way, break the skin.
Jennifer
Fact: those creams designed to bleach or remove the hair above your lip could possibly go into your mouth. But if you’re careful, they won’t. If they do somehow make their way in, you rinse them out.
I have applied products to my bush that may have included on their list of warning icons a beaver with a strike through it, but here I am only a little worse for wear.
I’m not going to recommend anything outright, I’m just going to say that if you do try a depilation cream, don’t open your legs up and frost your labia with it. Shaving does irritate and occasionally break hardier skin, but anything abrasive – whether chemical or razor – has that potential. But having safer sex with a condom does not completely eliminate the risk of skin-to-skin STIs, and skin-to-skin STIs don’t require broken skin to enter your system.
The hirsute ladies I know are wild for laser. Check it out here.
