Love languages might sound like just another dating buzzword, but for people in Toronto, they’re the secret sauce to understanding your partner, whether that’s through cooking together, holding hands, or carving out quality time.
For this edition of This is Dating Now, Now Toronto asked: Do love languages matter when building healthy relationships?
For Torontonians, they do.
Alana F., said that physical touch and words of affirmation are her love languages, while friend Caroline L. agreed.
“Yes, 100 per cent, I think [love languages] can help understand your partner better and they can [better] understand you. I think it’s very important to talk about that early on, too,” Caroline told This is Dating Now.
Celestin H. said that for him, it all comes down to touch.
“I like a little beard rub, a chest rub. I think it’s really important, depending on who you [are] with and what you’re thinking. I think love languages support relationships,” he explained..
Meanwhile, Dana C.’s answer began with a laugh.
“Love language? I’m horrible, I’m toxic,” she joked, before getting serious. “Probably, intimacy.”
While her friend Kayla S leaned more toward spending time together.
“Of the classic five love languages, probably quality time. I think that’s the most important for me,” she explained. “ I think with quality time, the more you spend time with someone, the more you get to know them, the more you get to fall in love,” she said.
Both agreed that miscommunication is inevitable if partners aren’t on the same page.
“At the end of the day, you’re just going to be communicating in different ways, and if you’re showing your affection one way, and it’s not the kind of way that your partner wants to receive affection, you’re going to be butting heads, and you’re going to be feeling like you’re not showing and receiving love to one another,” Kayla said.
Kaitlin B. pointed to smaller, thoughtful gestures.
“I like acts of service a lot. Like, if someone notices I might need a little bit of help. I don’t have to ask for it. That’s always something I really appreciate,” she said.
“It’s all about communication, and how you talk about like, this is the way I feel appreciated, this is the way I feel cared for. I think knowing about that definitely helps, and it helps you know more about yourself.”
For Ricardo, physical affection comes first.
“For me it’s 100% physical contact — hugging, holding hands, all that stuff. I’m Latino, so it’s normal for us. But quality time is just as important. My generation works so much, so it’s important to carve out that time with your partner, even if it’s just a weekend.”
He added that his girlfriend shares the same love language.
“We love cooking together and discovering Toronto since we both moved here at the same time.”
Sometimes, the answer was simple. For Gabriel H., it’s “probably public displays of affection — physical touch, stuff like that. I’d say it’s important, but everyone has their own way of expressing it.”
EXPERT SAYS LOVE LANGUAGES CAN BE A HELPFUL TOOL FOR COUPLES
While many locals saw love languages as “100% important,” relationship psychotherapist from Parisa Counselling, Parisa Ghanbari says they’re a helpful tool — but not the whole picture.
“It gives people the language to communicate their emotional needs and what makes them feel loved and valued,” Ghanbari explains. “The more your partner gives you the things that make you feel valued and important, the stronger your bond and connection will be.”
She encourages couples to go beyond simply identifying their love languages.
“At the end of the day, you should be able to answer yes to three main questions: Do you feel like you matter to your partner? Can you count on them in times of need? And can you reach them when you need to?” she says.
Ghanbari also stresses that preferences aren’t fixed and can change throughout your relationship.
“So just being fluid and open to hearing your partner and understanding what makes them feel loved, and knowing that this can always change, and not thinking that your way of doing things is always the right way,” she explained. “And actually checking in with your partner [and] not assuming things.”
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