Gag Me

Rating: NNNNNResearching April Fool's Day makes me paranoid. Maybe everything said about it is a big lie! But believe me.

Rating: NNNNN

Researching April Fool’s Day makes me paranoid. Maybe everything said about it is a big lie! But believe me — the day originated when select stubborn French people in the 1500s refused to believe that the Gregorian calendar had been introduced, moving New Year’s to January. These folk continued to celebrate New Year’s on its previous date, April 1, making them the butt of practical jokes, a glorious tradition that continues to this day. It is heartening to discover that jokes for the modern age have evolved into the realm of bums, bugs and dirt. So for all you merry pranksters out there, we’ve collected some standard props to help you give your loved ones a little whoopee this April Fool’s.

Scare your irritating co-worker when you offer her a piece of gum that bangs when she pulls it out of the package. What? We need our little thrills. (10, $2.39, Laughing Stuff & Novelty, 510 Yonge, 416-928-2205). You can never go wrong with a whoopee cushion (2, $9.99, Dominion Smallwares Inc, 356 Supertest, 416-665-9526). Try one with a time-delay option for real stealth, or a key chain version (3, $4.98, It Store, 1454 Yonge, 416-929-9201) so you can keep your wind at your back at all times. Fake bread with a faux cockroach underneath it is always a chic way to spice up a dull dinner party (13, $3.99, Laughing Stuff). Freak out your local oral hygiene fetishist with rotting Cuz’n Billy teeth (7, $9.99, Laughing Stuff). No, you’re not looking at a penis in a can. It’s exploding nuts in a can, naturally (11, $3.98, Ontario Specialty Co., 133 Church, 416-366-9327). Or try any one of these classics to convince everyone that irony is, in fact, dead, and that you are their lamest friend: Remote-Controlled Sounds That Drive People Crazy (8, $24.99, Dominion Smallwares, ) Instant Smelly Shit (12, $7.99, Laughing Stuff) Buggy Ice Cube (9, $1.69, Laughing Stuff) Squirting Flower (14, $4.98, Ontario Specialty Co) Fart Spray — and trust us, this stuff is intense (6, $4.99, Laughing Stuff) Disappearing Ink — you know, to splash on something white, like an MP (5, $1.59, Laughing Stuff) Buzzer (1, $2.98, Ontario Specialty) Dirty Face Soap (4, $1.69, Laughing Stuff) or Candy That Turns Your Mouth Black (4, $1.74, Laughing Stuff).

Have fun. And call someone a poo-poo head for us, will ya?

With files from Jill Andrew and Lisa Spinks

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