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Getting into feminist porn

Dear Sasha,

I’ve graduated film school and now work in a post house, so I have experience with editing. I’m really interested in getting into the adult film industry for post-production in Toronto. In due time, I want a website of my own, directing feminist porn.

However, at this moment I lack the resources for finding adult film companies to apply to and wonder if you have any idea of where I can look. I’ve searched online and haven’t been coming up with much. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Ms. Porn

Dear Ms. Porn,

Girl, look at you! Nothing is going to stop you from leaping on board with all the current trends in sexual freedom. You are an unstoppable force of contemporary sexual mores.

So now, feminist porn, eh? Don’t you have thousands of dollars in student debt to pay off? Do you really have time to take on more projects that put you deeper in financial crisis, or at the very best, keep you barely afloat?

Luckily we have Carlyle Jansen from Good for Her here, who, despite being entrenched in feminist porn herself for so many years (I would rather spend eternity forced to swim through a sea of all the razor blades I used as on this earthly plane than get tangled up in that world), has managed to maintain an upbeat attitude.

“Great question!” says Carlyle. “It’s exciting to have more folks getting behind the camera and the editing machines. We’re more familiar with what happens on the final end of porn rather than the production side, although we know many filmmakers who do everything themselves.”

What this means, Ms., is that you’ve got the right idea when it comes to dealing with all aspects of the content yourself. You just might have to start doing that sooner than later.

“For Ms. Porn to start making films, what I’d advise her to do is come to the Feminist Porn Awards in April. Many actors attend, and she can ask them about doing a shoot with her,” says Carlyle. “She can also search the kind of feminist porn that she’s interested in and talk to those directors, as well as actors she likes.”

Some names I’d suggest personally are Shine Louise Houston and Anna Span, established directors each with an impressive roster of talent and content behind them.

“When she makes something,” says Carlyle, “she can post it on her own website, submit it to the Feminist Porn Awards and also submit to video-on-demand sites like hotmoviesforher.com, girlzporn.com and (soon) goodforher.com. I notice that local talent N. Maxwell Lander’s short film Maybe He’s Gifted, submitted to and awarded last year at the FPAs, is on the girlzporn.com site, so that’s a way to get your work out there and make some money that can go toward making more!”

Carlyle put an email out to a feminist pornographer who used to do web-based work in Toronto. When she hears back from her, we’ll pass on some more suggestions for getting connected in this city.

And check out local hottie Jezebel Valentine’s website: jezebeltube.com. This girl is a one-woman porn-producing machine – not only does she produce her own content, but she stars in it, too. Maybe she’s looking to take on a willing intern?

Dear Sasha,

My fiancé and I have been together for a long time, and we have a great relationship. We’ve always been open with one another and we have explored our sexuality together, leading us to do things we once considered taboo.

Increasingly over the fast few months, I simply haven’t been able to properly satisfy her. When we make love, she’ll be about to climax and then it just stops for her. She says that the climax builds intensely and then just turns off. Normally after an orgasm she is very sensitive and we don’t always continue. On the occasions that we do, she can’t reach that peak again. She’s become frustrated and upset because of this, and I want to satisfy her again like I used to.

We’ve tried changing things up a bit, using different techniques and positions, but it still happens frequently. We are both busy people, so maybe our problem is stress-related. I was hoping you might have some idea as to what’s going on or what might help. I want to please my fiancé the same way she pleases me.

Returning the Favour

Dear Returning,

Stress can certainly impact climax, both for men and women. So can antidepressants, depression itself and pressure to sustain the same sexual response for your entire sexual development. Many of us have complicated histories with orgasm: the shame and covertness that mark our first experiences often lead us to feel that this pleasure can be snatched away at any time. We feel as though we’re lacking in any carefree authority over our bodies – as though we are stealing orgasms from it, to some extent.

As I’ve said before, “A watched twat never boils.” Nothing really makes sex more stressful then a sudden terror that it’s changing and we have no agency over this fact.

The first thing you need to know is that you do. You are explorers, and your bodies are your own personal geographies to discover. This is just a part of the trek that’s a little craggy. So perhaps it’s time to call in a Sherpa or two.

If you haven’t introduced sex toys into your life, please do. A vibrator is a great way to assist in your efforts. Visit some local sex stores as part of your mutual adventure. Some quality vibrators I’d like you to look out for are Lelo, Jimmyjane and the Hitachi Magic Wand. Lelo and Jimmyjane have models that can be pressed against the mons pubis and clitoris so as not impede penetration, though most vibrators can be held in a way that they aren’t terribly disruptive during partner sex in various positions. Do some advance research on websites like goodforher.com and comeasyouare.com, which offer community feedback and reviews on their products.

Introduce other types of intimacy that expand on your affection and, by extension, your mutual relaxation. Massage (yes, massage! Learn it, do it, share it), touching without the goal of orgasm or even full sexual response, hugs and snugs. If your lives are stressful, then finding comfort in one another is imperative. What happens to a lot of couples when orgasm becomes elusive is that they tend to turn on each other.

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