I'm standing in line at the bank and I want to fucking scream. The woman in front of me is letting her two little monster children run wild around the place. She doesn't even try to rein them in.
Or how about this? Some drunk asshole in a bar bumps into me and spills my drink. He doesn't acknowledge what happened, let alone apologize. I want to tackle him, screaming, "Inconsiderate prick!"
Or my favourite: a cellphone rings in a movie theatre and its owner actually answers it and begins a conversation. I wanna dump my fantastically overpriced soda and popcorn (something else I could easily lose it over) all over her head to remind her that she's in a fucking movie theatre.
But I don't. I don't tell the lady that her kids are monsters. I don't go at the prick like I'm an NFL lineman, and I don't dump my popcorn all over Ms. Cellphone. And you know what? I'm tired of thinking that I want to.
I'm tired of seeing red over relatively small and insignificant things. Sure, they're all bothersome to a degree, but I've had it with wasting my energy and emotions on stuff that's kinda out of my hands.
For aught six, I'm making a resolution: I will not lose my shit over every small thing. I'm not going to fret over the small stuff any more, and for my personal sanity I'm gonna find a better way to deal with all the petty crap and stress that fill up my life - and I'm guessing most of your lives as well.
Cuz you know what? All those little stresses can feel like they're adding up to one big abominable stress monster over time, and what can happen to a body because of stress and anxiety is definitely not cool. We're talking migraines, fatigue, high blood pressure, weight loss, cramps and irritable bowels.
I really don't want irritable bowels. That's just one more thing to worry about.
Instead of worrying, part of my resolution is just simply to not. I'm not talking about some Zen-like existence where someone tells me I'm on the verge of bankruptcy and I shrug my shoulders or you kick me in the knees and I look the other way. I'm thinking more along the lines of letting as much stress and bullshit as humanly possible slide off my back as if I were made of Teflon.
I think from now on I'll try to replace all the "goddammits" and "arrggggghhhs" with a new thought. Something like "Yeah, shitty things happen, but whatever. It's time to get on with my life."
I really hope that doesn't sound too cheesy (shit, I'm worrying again), but I think the point's there. It's pretty much "Just let it go" and focus on something better, like enjoying a good meal or playing with kittens.
And if I'm able to let it go (most of the time), I'm gonna concentrate all that energy I used to waste on stress, anxiety and frustration on making my life easier and more fun. Instead of worrying about traffic, I'm just going to accept the fact that traffic exists whether I'd like it to or not, and maybe I'll be happier about it if I have a nice chai latte or the new Enya CD to soothe my angst.
Either way, shitty things and minor inconveniences are gonna happen, regardless of how you or I feel about them, so why not just accept that and move forward?
Toronto can be a hostile place, but maybe if we all just sorta let things slide a bit more we could hold hands or smile at strangers or something.