Ladies Man

Looking to cross-dress for success? Here's how.

Rating: NNNNN

The Jewish festival of Purim is coming up next week, celebrating the time when a hot Jewish babe named Esther saved the Jews living in biblical Persia from extermination. This holiday is traditionally celebrated with pageants, excessive drinking and cross-dressing. And if God says — NOW does!

In anticipation of the blessed day, we sent our stunning Stephania (not Jewish, but circumcised, we think), an Aries who enjoys horseback riding and singing in the rain, to Take a Walk on the Wildside (161 Gerrard East, 416-921-6112, to get the doyenne of cross-dressing, Paddy Aldridge, to turn him into a whole new woman.

At Paddy’s club/B&B/boutique, cross-dressers can dress up and hang out with other lovely ladies who need to get away from their manly duties.

“I bet you don’t think Jerry hunts black bears,” says Paddy, waving in the direction of a gal in pumps and pearl earrings. “He fishes, too.” (Jerry also brought along some moose sausage to share, which he shot personally, of course.)

Package deals include makeup only ($60), makeup lessons ($120), full makeup and one costume ($120), full makeup and six different outfits, including a photograph of each ($220) and overnight stays ($65).

Wildside also has a terribly au courant shop that sells wigs, large-size heels, makeup, costumes, lingerie, fake boobies and a wide range of educational and cultural videos like So, You Wanna Be A Crossdresser, Eh? and magazines like the current issue of Sissy Maid. No Famous Purim Cross-Dressing Rabbis Throughout The Ages yet, but maybe next year….

(Other cross-dressing hot spots: Madame de Sade’s Bondage Hotel, 159 Gerrard East, 416-413-0827, and He & She Clothing Gallery, 263 Queen East, 416-594-0171.)

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