Dating in Toronto is usually a fun time, but some people out there treat it as a game, and unfortunately in this game, someone’s always being played and even cheated on. In this edition of This Is Dating Now we hit the streets of Toronto to ask if, “Once a cheater, always a cheater?” Or are some people capable of change?
For Toronto local Keith, he says humans are complicated but change is possible, and so is forgiveness.
“Humans are complicated and deserve grace and compassion, and if they cheat on you then you move on, and if they don’t then you also move on,” he said. “Humans are humans.”
However, Angela Noy disagrees with Keith, and says a pattern is usually an indicator that someone will always be a cheater, but she does agree that forgiveness is possible under certain conditions.
“There’s forgiveness and there’s forget, I think there can be forgiveness, just as long as you forget,” she said.
Allen also agrees that once a cheater always a cheater, and even tells Now Toronto that he’s had his own experiences with what some may describe as the ultimate betrayal.
“If you’re with someone and they cheat on you, you should leave them, it’s that simple, move on like they moved on,” he said.
But he also said that he “feels” like he may have cheated on someone.
“But I didn’t do it behind their backs… so I don’t think I cheated,” he reflected.
Some Torontonians agree that cheating is not clearly defined. For local A.J, he says it’s only cheating if you’re caught, and says they’ll do it again if surveillance isn’t heightened.
“If they don’t let you go into their phone, if they don’t have an airtag on them, and they cheated in the past then they’ll cheat again,” he said.
He says people in relationships that are committed and loyal should allow their partners to have access to them at all times, and if not, then it can be a sign of cheating.
“I don’t think it’s asking too much,” he said.
Ingrid tells us that she’s also experienced being cheated on, and says because of that she believes that the cheater will do it again.
“It’s a hard one to stop, but without that professional help I believe it’s just ingrained in someone for whatever reason,” she said.
She says the experience led her to take a break from dating afterwards.
“There’s always that one per cent of people that will change their behaviour, but I think once you’re a cheater you will always be one,” she said.
Ingrid says she has words of advice for people who may be going through something similar.
“Try not to hold a grudge, not everyone’s a dirtbag,” she said.
So, dating in Toronto isn’t always as pretty as it may seem, but for the times when it’s ugly, all you have to do is keep your head high, and simply move on to the next.
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