Rating: NNNNN
For students tight on dorm space, the P4 3.2 GHz HP Media Centre zd8225ca Notebook replaces your computer, television and radio. A dual TV tuner lets you watch and record two live programs on its 17-inch HD wide-screen, and the LightScribe DVD/CD burner laser prints labels right onto your discs. Also comes with Microsoft Word, if you’re into that shit. $2,499 from www.hp.ca
It’s a little early-2000s-looking, but the Samsung P207 is the first mobile phone in the world to have voice-to-text recognition. So instead of talking to people, you can text message them, but instead of typing in your message, you can talk into the phone, which will then send your words as a text message. Neato! It also has a VGA digicam, two colour screens and EDGE technology, which will give you speedy downloads. $99.99 with three-year term from Rogers Wireless . www.rogers.com
Though it looks like an ordinary kitchen appliance, Back to Basics ‘ Egg & Muffin Toaster is the apex of culinary engineering. Throw in an English muffin, pre-cooked sausage and an egg and in four aromatic minutes it’ll churn out the most magnificent creation of mankind, not including Jessica Alba: the ubiquitous Sausage & Egg McMuffin. It also cooks bagels, bacon, hard-boiled eggs and – wait, didn’t you hear me? – I said Sausage & Egg McMuffins! (Look for it mid-September at Target in the U.S. and in early 2006 at Costco in Canada.) $60 at www.eggandmuffintoaster. com
High tech, meet high fashion! RAZRWIRE Bluetooth Eyewear is a hands-free headset by Motorola and Oakley that lets you walk and talk with your cell in your pocket and the sun out of your eyes. Sure, you’ll look like you’re yapping to yourself, but at least you won’t look like a fucking cyborg with with one of those wired headsets. $385, www.motorola.com
The Oakley SI Computer Bag is rugged enough to make you look like you’re packing a handful of grenades and a machete, not a $2,000 laptop. With pockets deeper than Bill Gates’s and more padding than a 13-year-old’s bra, your expensive gadgetry will be safe inside its nylon embrace. $200 from Toronto O Store , 383 Queen West (or www.oakley.ca)
