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Wet dream job

Dear Sasha,

I’ve heard of people making money trying out different sex toys at home and reporting back to the supplying companies on its effectiveness. Would you know how I go about finding these companies or if you have any information on these companies, can you provide it to me.

Marcia Penly

Dear Marcia,

Very occasionally, sex toy companies do prototype testing and offer 50 dollars or so for feedback. They will find people to do this either through their website or through the retailers that carry their products. As for existing products, you really have to be “someone” to begin with to get involved in testing and feedback, meaning you need to have an established presence writing about sex and sex products, because most companies are very naturally looking for legitimate links and promotion.

Jack at Come As You Are tells me they get around five requests a week from people with blogs asking for sex toy samples to test. “There is no shortage,” he says, “of people who want to try sex toys for free.”

The Internet has enabled spaces for everyone to be a consumer expert or cultural critic, giving people the impression that their opinions are sought rather than proffered, along with a sense of entitlement to all the benefits that they assume come with that.

This kind of unobstructed democracy has had many stultifying effects. As Fran Lebowitz says in the documentary Public Speaking, “What we have had in the past 30 years is too much democracy in the culture, not enough democracy in society. There’s no need to have democracy in culture. None. Because the culture should be made by a natural aristocracy of talent.”

Writing about sex, which has both social and cultural implications, attracts many people who may truly be invested in making their work engaging, personal and thoughtful. The problem is, nobody is telling them when they are in fact, terrible and derivative writers and that just having sex doesn’t make their thoughts on the matter worthy of public consideration and financial compensation.

With the advent of blogging, anyone can be an expert but even in this unrestricted venue, if you wish to profit either financially or with product exchange, you need to do a little work first. Crazy, I know. As someone who got in on the sex writing game pre-blog and for the most part pre-internet, I can say very honestly that my own opinions haven’t always been well formed. I still have to write a weekly column and this time frame does not always allow me to be completely thorough.

The “someone” that I am and the perks I have attained through the persona of Sasha aren’t based on any codified expertise but more due to the venue I worked persistently to maintain. I am now keenly aware that my column is part of a fairly brief trend in journalism that is being supplanted. (And is, in some part, a precursor to the current spate of blogs).

I used to make a living off my column. I keep it now because it keeps me writing, keeps me in the game, so to speak. It is not making me wealthy but it does allow me access to products and community that are important to me in other aspects of my life. So I understand other people’s desire for this access.

I will tell you, though, that trying out sex toys is not always fun. You can actually hurt yourself. Some vibrators and insertables are made of materials that emit gas and for people with chemical sensitivities, they are nauseating. I have tried lubricants and massage oils that gave me alarming infections – one product literally turned my vaginal fluids grainy.

I tried a toy last year that electrocuted me and not in a pleasant way at all. I have also been given toys to test that enraged me. They were touted as medical devices and were exorbitantly priced because they come with well-compensated doctors’ endorsements, when they were actually ineffectual and greed-driven products.

Still, if you want to see if there are any opportunities to test prototypes and products (keeping in mind that your only compensation might be the product itself and a whoop-ass yeast infection) get on the mailing lists of every sex toy manufacturers and retailers you can find on the Internet. Create a blog for yourself that sets you apart (I have no idea how you do this in an oversaturated market but when it comes to sex, highlighting your oppression seems to be the latest trend).

Begin first by testing and writing about products you already have. But remember: if Come As You Are, a small co-operatively owned store receives five requests a week from novice sex bloggers, you can just imagine how many the larger stores receive.

And one reason the larger stores turn a profit is because they are stingy with samples so they will be even less inclined to hand over merchandise for testing. You may consider applying to work in sex shops so that you have easier access to the ins and outs of products and can either get them for free or at reduced cost. This will also help you see firsthand what people buy and why and help you create content for your blog. Here’s a good example of a blog written by a sex store employee: vulgarvag.wordpress.com.

All manufacturers are tightening their belts when it comes to samples, Marcia, so I emphasize again that you’ve come into this game at a very bad time. I used to get dozens of products pitched and sent to me and now with the few that are offered, if I don’t review immediately, there is someone from the social media marketing department on my tail. This is reasonable but also really indicative of a retail culture that understands that in this day and age, a quick, viral buzz beats a long-term investment.

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