Orgasm for 30 minutes at a time?I hadn't even known such a thing was possible when I first encountered a description on a poster for Lucy Becker Workshops on tantra."In extended orgasm," the blurb promised, "the nervous system becomes highly synchronized and the body goes into deep ecstatic sensations. This state of orgasmic flow can last for 30 minutes or more."
That sounded good enough to get me signed up for the 20 sessions needed to guide me to the orgasmic version of the Holy Grail.
I get started on my training by finding out just how far I have to go. In our first meeting, Lucy gives me a daunting homework assignment: self-pleasure to orgasm three times over the coming week, and time everything.
How long does it take me to get aroused? How many seconds does my orgasm last? I do my best to deal with the logistics by putting a digital clock next to my face. But I space out on watching the clock during the moment of orgasm. By my best estimate, it lasts 10 to 20 seconds. Oh well, that's why I'm taking the course.
In the meantime, I'm also adding all kinds of Kegel exercises to my daily routine, my training for the Olympian sexuality ahead. There are plain Kegels, and Kegels that feel like my PC (pubococcygeal) muscle is climbing and descending a ziggurat. There's a Kegel I do supported on my knees and forearms, and one for my anal sphincter. There's an exercise that involves sucking my yoni opening into my body (which eventually gives me great abs), and there's my favourite, the push-out, a kind of reverse Kegel that makes me feel relaxed and intuitive.
After six or seven weeks, the Kegels start kicking in. I feel much clearer, stronger spasms in my PC muscle when I come. It's cool. I'm also learning breathing exercises that are getting my body ready to support greater states of arousal. Then I enter a rather tortuous stage of the training.
To further prepare, I have to learn how to sustain a high state of arousal. As I get hot, I use special breathing patterns and shifts in how I stimulate myself to cool off a bit.
Up and down, up and down I go, trying to concentrate on keeping this yo-yo effect going a certain number of times at each stage toward orgasm.
Sometimes I enjoy the intensified orgasm that results. Other times I'm highly frustrated by trying to simultaneously make love to myself and concentrate on counting six ups and downs before I move on to the next stage of arousal and do it all again!
Next on the agenda is a technical matter. Extended orgasm requires simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation. I'm sure this represents sexual kindergarten for a lot of this column's readers, but it was a new self-pleasuring technique for me. So I spend a few weeks experimenting. It's fabulous. Whatever was I waiting for? (Sad to say it, but probably a guy!)
Then the big week arrives. I'm ready to try for my first extended orgasm. The instructions are three pages long, but I find they basically require me to consolidate what I'm already doing.
On my first attempt, I bring up my arousal gradually, as instructed. I'm supposed to stimulate my G-spot when I'm in a state of high arousal or I feel an orgasm starting. I forget and just plain come. So I start over.
This time I'm ready, and at the pre-climactic moment I slide my finger in. I'm very uncomfortable. I need a pillow under my butt. I somehow manage to get that in place while keeping internal stimulation going. Then it's back to my clit and an orgasm.
And I manage it -- my everyday climax turns into the orgasm that just keeps on coming. As I keep my breath and internal and external stimulation going, my PC muscle keeps contracting. Then the muscle starts spontaneously pushing out (that move it's been trained for). I can feel my brain starting to melt in my skull, and things are going quiet inside. I'm now in a deep meditative state.
I last maybe five or 10 minutes before the fatigue of so many new sensations at the same time brings my first extended orgasm to a close.
The next time I try it, I reach "phase 2" extended orgasm. I start off as before, then go through a distinct gear switch during which my yoni stops moving and I have to let out some combined crying and laughing. Then the alternating contraction and push-out pattern made by my yoni muscles in phase 1 become one continuous, cyclical wave. This time, the whole thing lasts maybe 10 or 15 minutes before I bring myself to one last, shuddering come.
As promised by Lucy, I feel terrific all day long. I decide I've got to keep doing this at least once a week. I still enjoy my 20-second quickies, and I've got a whole new body/mind/spirit alignment tool in my kit bag now. So why, I wonder, did I never learn about this in school?