Joe Buck, the male prostitute from Midnight Cowboy
I am a 21-year-old, homely-looking female virgin. I've been thinking of going to (male) escorts, but I find they're really hard to get hold of. The only ads I ever see feature either "the lovely Natasha 38-22-42" or super-studs clearly catering to gays. I'm not enthusiastic about seeing a guy I'm paying pop a blue pill and close his eyes.
So what's in it for a straight gal? Are there male escorts around who cater to females exclusively? If so, where are they and, more importantly, what are my chances of spending the evening with a stunning 7-foot 2-inch Swedish import without having to assemble him myself? I'm sure there are other ladies out there looking for the same kind of service.
On a related note: I assume there is specific etiquette that differs from the regular GFE and all these things. Would a "he" cost me more than a "she"? And if (when) he falls asleep after climax, can I in good conscience kick him outta my house?
It's been a long time since I investigated male-for-female escorts, Questions. Probably over a decade. At that time I was not impressed by the sel-ection: sneering, cologne-drenched bucks who prided themselves on "knowing what a lady wants" without actually asking her first.
I recently visited a few sites that offer male-for-female companionship, and still wasn't blown away, though more options are available. Many men hadn't taken the time to get professional photos done, and their profiles were filled with glaring grammatical injustices. The job seemed like an afterthought - perhaps a way to earn extra income without putting too much into it. Sex work is real work, gentlemen. Show some initiative.
If I were looking for a male escort, I might consider googling female escorts who do duos with men and ask if their male duo partner sees women alone. If a woman who sleeps with men professionally has chosen a particular man as her work companion, you can be pretty sure his qualifications are up to snuff.
Like any paid professional, a male escort will leave your house when the time for which you have compensated him is done. Generally, they get paid less than female escorts - around $250 an hour.
The Long and Binding Road
I've been in a relationship with a guy for about eight years. Most of that has been long-distance, but when the relationship started we were living in the same place. During that period when we were seeing each other every couple of weeks, our sex was sooo good and we had a lot of it.
However, we recently moved in together, and though our sex life hasn't stopped, it hasn't become what I expected. I thought we would be like bunnies now that we're living together, but we don't do it that often. I still think he's sexy, and when we have sex it's great, but we're finding it difficult to do a lot.
Does this sound right? Do we have to reassess things now that we live together? Find out how it'll work now that we're not long-distance? Maybe I'm thinking about this too much.
Matthew, do you know what a speedball is? It is a mixture of cocaine and heroin injected either simultaneously or in sequence. A relationship that begins in the same city and then transitions to long-distance before the initial fuck frenzy is over is essentially the speedball of relationships.
You had just enough time to get all "moon, spoon, June" about this person, and then he moved away, intensifying mutual desirability. It became a vacation mixed with a honeymoon mixed with imminent military conscription, and frankly it's a wonder that neither of you became pregnant from the supernatural combination of hormones.
Asking why things have changed is like wondering why you don't feel the same bliss on a day-to-day basis as you do when you're on MDMA. You simply cannot generate the same elating combination of chemicals without its help.
So, what to do now that you no longer have impending departure to propel your erotic congress? It's easy to get wound up and start issuing ultimatums like "We have to have sex" along with the classic keening refrain, "Why don't you want to fuck me any more?" But as you've probably already discovered, this only encourages an atmosphere of doubt and divisiveness.
Several months ago I was sitting in a car with a friend of mine who has been in recovery for many years. She does not mince words when it comes to getting all fucked up about shit. As I was blubbering about some injustice in my own relationship, she looked at me and said, "Expectations are just premeditated resentments."
What do you think about that shit, Matthew?
Things didn't turn out how you expected, but there's no reason to dwell on that. In fact, by doing so you're putting unnecessary strain on your relationship. Why are you doing that? Are you looking for something to replace that lost urgency?
Whatever you do, don't replace it with resentment. It'll turn you into a professional crier.
Trust me, I know how thick the mud can get when a relationship changes gears. It's like that scene in The African Queen where Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn are trying to find a way out of the endless maze of reeds they're mired in. "We've always followed the current," says Hepburn. "That don't mean nothing," Bogart explodes. "This river's crazy. Crazy like I am!"
Once they stop fighting against it, they're set free. (Of course, that doesn't stop the Nazis from trying to hang them, but they get away from them in the end, too.)
Would you consider seeing a therapist together? If money is an issue, there are loads who offer a sliding scale. Gaining perspective with a referee can really help break the ice that collects when emotions are running high.
Got a question for Sasha? Ask away: email@example.com