BEASTLY (Daniel Barnz). 97 minutes. Opens Friday (March 4). For venues, trailers, and times, see Movies. Rating: N
Poor Alex Pettyfer is making himself a target for the same critics who shot holes through his performance two weeks ago in I Am Number Four, a movie I actually liked. The blond heartthrob with the chiselled face and smouldering stare stars in Beastly, a miscalculated modern adaptation of the fairy tale about a beautiful girl and a vain monster.
Meant to cash in on the craze for fantasy films about hormonal teens started by a certain chick-lit vampire series, Beastly merely shows how Twilight got it right.
As Kyle, hexed with scar tissue and some nifty tats, and Lindy, the idealistic girl he’s sweet on, Pettyfer and Disney stalwart Vanessa Hudgens can’t conjure up the sexual intensity of Edward and Bella. Shit, even Disney’s animated Belle and the Beast seem more eager for the red-light special than these two.
It doesn’t help that the stars choke on Barnz’s clunky dialogue about the “death of romance” and an unsubtle screenplay that reeks of laziness.
The only person who comes out of this mess looking good is Mary-Kate Olsen, who clearly has fun with her goth-flavoured witch. As for Pettyfer, well, his career just seems cursed.
