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This was the year that the idiots finally took over the box. From Paris Hilton’s latest sexcapade to Janet Jackson’s tits, never before has the medium so deserved its boob tube slur.
1 THE WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake at the Super Bowl (February 1) The end of live television. Previously thought of as the sensible one of the family, former teen queen Janet Jackson suffers a “wardrobe malfunction” while performing in the MTV-produced Super Bowl half-time show when co-lip-syncher Justin Timberlake accidentally exposes her right bazoom and its bejewelled nipple cone. The Bush-aligned FCC fines the network $500,000 U.S. for the publicity stunt, and the era of the five-second delay on almost anything live begins.
2 CORNER GAS CTV
Unheard of for a Canadian series, let alone a sitcom set in Saskatchewan, Brent Butt ‘s Corner Gas attracts nearly 2 million viewers weekly and generates across-the-board critical acclaim. Then it gets shut out by this year’s CBC-friendly Gemini Awards.
3 CONAN IN TORONTO
(February 10 to 13) The world’s tallest free-standing talk show host brings his acerbic late-night crew to the home of the world’s tallest free-standing TV antenna for a string of galas shot at the Winter Garden Theatre. Guests included locals Jim Carrey , Mike Myers , Barenaked Ladies , Ookpik and the Juul Haalmeyer Dancers on Ice .
4 RACE CARDS
American Idol/OutKast on the Grammies (February 8) When the three front-runners in this season’s American Idol – La Toya London , Jennifer Hudson and ultimate winner Fantasia Barrino (who also happened to be the contest’s only black women) – are voted by viewers into the bottom three, Idolator Simon Cowell denies that his scripted talent pageant is racist. Elsewhere, San Francisco’s Native American Cultural Center calls for a boycott of CBS and OutKast after the rap duo appear on the U.S. net’s broadcast of the Grammy Awards dressed as Indians. However, no group commented on OutKast’s Hey Ya! video’s portayal of singer Andre 3000 as a lawn jockey.
5 TORONTO 1 TANKS
After failing to attract a double-digit audience, Calgary-based Craig Media’s Toronto 1 – Hogtown’s first new TV station in nearly 20 years – goes belly up. With its lucrative licence sold to Quebecor Media, owner of the Toronto Sun, the new as-yet-to-debut channel illustrates the first rule of Canadian showbiz economics: forget success – there are bigger bucks in failure.
6 GEORGE BUSH’S BULGE
the presidential debates During the presidential debates, incumbent Dubya is photographed with a very obvious rectangular bulge in the back of his suit jacket. Bad tailoring, the prez pooh-poohs, denying that he was wired. And we thought it was Dick Cheney’s arm up George’s ass.
7 TV SEASONS ON DVD
Seinfeld The Office So what if Friends and Sex And The City called it quits. Old TV shows never die they live on forever in rerun syndication and on DVD. This year’s essential box sets include the first two seasons of Seinfeld and the complete 12 episodes (plus Christmas special) of BBC’s brilliant The Office.
8 CBC COMEDY COUPS
Carolyn Parrish (November 15), Pierre Berton (October 18) Who says the CBC has no edge? Loudmouth Liberal MP Carolyn Parrish grinds her boot heel into a Dubya doll during an appearance on satiric revue This Hour Has 22 Minutes and is immediately ousted from caucus. And Pierre Berton goes down in pot-head posterity shortly before his death at 84 after demonstrating his unique joint-rolling technique on Rick Mercer ‘s Monday Report . That explains all the CanLit god’s books about cats.
9 Jon Stewart loses it
Crossfire, CNN (October 15) The Daily Show’s host blows a gasket on CNN’s Crossfire, calling the lightweight hosts of the left-versus-right slugfest – Clinton apologist Paul Begala and bow-tied neo con Tucker Carlson – partisan hacks, and Carlson in particular a dick. “You’re more fun on your own show,” pouts Carlson.
10 CRTC widens the net approves Al Jazeera and Fox News
In July, the CRTC clears the way for Arabic broadcaster Al Jazeera on Canadian cable but refuses a similar request from jingoistic U.S. net Fox News. Reversing its decision against Fox in November, the Canadian airwaves watchdog also approves a 24-hour NFL lifestyle channel.
