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Thursday, July 29
CELEBRITY JUSTICE News nets like CNN cover Martha Stewart and Michael Jackson as much as they do global affairs, but this tawdry entertainment package dishes the important stuff – who’s doing whom, who’s suing whom and who’s back in rehab. 5:30 pm weeknights on Toronto1
BBC WORLD NEWS Thirty minutes of the best coverage on TV of what’s going on in the real world. As opposed to on The Real World. 6 pm nightly on PBS/Newsworld
Friday, July 30
CHAMPIONS WORLD SERIES Delayed coverage of Portugal’s FC Porto match with the UK’s Liverpool from the Skydome. Traffic advisory: avoid Dundas and Ossington. 11 pm on Sportsnet
THUNDERBIRDS Six-hour marathon of the marionette superheroes coincides with just-released live-action kid flick. Warning: wooden acting. Midnight on YTV, continues Saturday midnight
Saturday, July 31
PLAIN & FANCY COOKING The next time your favourite educational program is interrupted by a pledge break, consider that WNED produces little original programming. Except for occasional Mark Russell specials, P&FC is the jewel of Channel 17’s schedule. Pledge Break Goldie (wife of the station manager) hosts this laughably dreadful cooking show where the cream of Cheektowaga’s culinary scene demonstrate how to make tuna noodle casserole. 12:30 pm on PBS
Sunday, August 1
AMISH IN THE CITY The first episode of a reality series – sorry, unscripted real-life drama – finds a group of devoutly religious teens thrown into the Sodom and Gomorrah of Hollywood. Will they break under the pressure? Would this be on TV otherwise? 9 pm on Global
THE GOLDEN GLOBES: HOLLYWOOD’S DIRTY LITTLE SECRET Doc examines how a once inconsequential award -bestowed by fewer than 100 European hacks has become a crucial marketing tool in the selling of the American dream. 10 pm on Newsworld
Monday, August 2
LIVE TALL SHIPS Ships ahoy! Sky-high schooners sail from Halifax Harbour for the annual Parade of Sail. 1 pm on Newsworld, repeated 8 pm and 4 am
JOE SCHMO 2 How the producers of the most honest reality show on television – the whole thing’s fake except for oblivious Joe – found two (!) dupes for the second season is flabbergasting. Will this year’s lovebirds discover it’s all been a cruel hoax? Not until the season finale. 11 pm on Spike
Tuesday, August 3
THE REAL OLYMPICS: DEATH OR GLORY Two-part doc reveals how the ancient games have been appropriated and reinvented in the modern era by disparate ideologues from the Victorian upper classes to the Nazis. 9 pm on PBS, concludes Wednesday at 9 pm
THE SHARON OSBOURNE SHOW Tipped last fall as TV’s next big thing, Ozzy’s missus’s gab fest spectacularly tanked. On this last of her reruns, former talk show host Rosie O’Donnell offers Sharon some career advice. 9 pm on Talk, repeated at midnight
Wednesday, August 4
SECRETS OF THE DEAD: AMAZON WARRIOR WOMEN Recent forensic evidence found in a 2,500-year-old burial mound in Russia suggests that the fierce fighting women of Greek legend may actually have existed. 8 pm on PBS
