Rating: NNNNN
Thursday, August 25
HOT PROPERTY If a clueless young couple can correctly guess the price of a depressingly small suburban house, they win the joint. They never do. Weird UK game show from the producers of The Eyes Of Tammy Faye, Hidden Fuhrer: Debating The Enigma Of Hitler’s Sexuality and The Christmas Special Christmas Special. 7 pm on HGTV, repeated 4 pm Sunday and 9 am Wednesday
Friday, August 26
WHEN METALLICA RULED THE WORLD Profile of the mulleted headbangers includes interviews with the band, film director Joe Berlinger (Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster) and Vancouver-based producer and former Payola Bob Rock . 6 pm on MuchMoreMusic
AUSTIN CITY LIMITS AUSTIN CITY LIMITS
Grammy-winning gospel group the Blind Boys Of Alabama jam with Sly-style funkateers Robert Randolph and the Family Band in concert. Midnight on PBS
Saturday, August 27
SOCCER Need an excuse for a pint first thing in the morning? How’s about three back-to-back UK soccer matches followed by live coverage of the 2006 World Cup qualifying showdown between Scotland and Italy? Saturdays 7:30 am, 10 am and 12:30 pm on Sportsnet, first match repeated at 8 pm. Scotland vs Italy 12:30 pm on TLN, repeated at 8:30 pm.
Sunday, August 28
CORONATION STREET Now that it’s on strike, the national net has never been better: uninterrupted Emmerdale episodes weekday afternoons at 3, endless reruns of Antiques Roadshow over on Newsworld and, starting this week, four and a half hours of Corrie every Sunday. Spoiler: watch for Ian MacKellen (!) and Status Quo (!!) to both hit the cobblestoned street in future. 8 am on CBC
PENIS DEMENTIA Subtitled The Search For The Perfect Penis, this irreverent doc from the producers of Stacked Like Me, A Is For Ass and Mouth: An Oral History tackles society’s obsession with dicks. 10 pm on Life, repeated at 2 am
Monday, August 29
PRISON BREAK Two-hour premiere of new whodunit/action series finds our incarcerated hero – Alien’s hunky Dominic Purcell – framed for murder and planning to bust out of the big house. Think The Fugitive meets The Great Escape goes to Oz (not the Judy Garland vehicle). With veteran actor Stacy Keach as the badass prison warden. 8 pm on Fox/Global
Tuesday, August 30
RESCUE ME Dennis Leary returns for a second season in this riveting dramedy set in a post-9/11 New York City firehall. 10 pm on Showcase
Wednesday, August 31
THE GRID ER’s Julianna Margulies and The Practice’s Dylan McDermott team as intelligence officers on the trail of an international terrorist group responsible for a deadly gas attack on London. The pair might start with a better map – in the miniseries’s opening sequence the British capital appears to have relocated to the island’s west coast. 10 pm on Showcase
KETCHUP: KING OF CONDIMENTS Saucy culinary historian Andrew F. Smith explores the origins of Ronald Reagan’s favourite food group. 10:30 pm on PBS
