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Music

5 bands that are better than their names

Rating: NNNNN


BIGBABYERNIE

Black Bull, Thursday (June 7), 10 pm

BBE is probably one of the worst band names in the history of time, maybe second only to Your Band Sucks and Enuff Z’nuff, which is a damn pity, really, because they sound like Stevie Wonder, Otis Redding and Paul Simon. Unfortunately, every time the name comes up, all I can think of is a really big guy wearing a bonnet going, “I made a pee-pee, Maaa-maaa.”

CHINESE FOOD

Hideout, Thursday (June 7), 1 am

These guys explain their name by describing an imaginary meeting of all their influences, like ZZ Top, Tom Waits and Elvis Costello, at a Chinese restaurant. They sound a little like mid-90s alt-rock with a bit of ska. Anyhow, with an explanation like that, they might as well have called themselves Blue Cheese Omelet, because people like omelets, and they’re people, too!

JUST JINJER

Reverb, Saturday (June 9), 1 am

This is actually the biggest-selling band in South African musical history, and they’ve toured with Counting Crows, Def Leppard and U2. But what’s up with that name? Are they all redheads and they’re warning people who thought they were going to see a rock band full of brunettes?

HUE

Neutral, Thursday (June 7), 9 pm

More than anything, London, Ontario’s Hue suffer from the rare condition called Boring Band Name Syndrome, probably due to excessive listening to similarly boring-sounding bands like Travis and Coldplay. While they don’t sound nearly as dull as their name suggests, they are all about pop melodies. And perhaps they’ll start future side projects called John or Boat.

FIVE STAR HOMELESS

Cadillac Lounge, Saturday (June 9), 10 pm

Okay, so they’re all roots rock and alt-country and it comes with the territory that bands of that ilk talk about how country music ain’t fer no hoity-toity, upper-class types. Fine, country music is the people’s music. Duh. But isn’t Five Star Homeless like Ferrari Chuckwagon?

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