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Music

Couple battles

Kurt Cobain vs Courtney Love

Kurt got the record sales and critical acclaim, but Courtney’s still around and making music, not to mention enjoying her late husband’s earnings.

Verdict: Love wins, but only by the worst kind of default.

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Jay Z vs Beyoncé

The hip-hop and R&B power couple have kept their relationship pretty quiet, but they’ve been Hollywood’s top-earning duo for the past two years, so maybe that’s a good strategy?

Verdict: Tie, but they may have rigged it that way.

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Kevin Federline vs Britney Spears

Neither of them gets many points for raw musical talent, but Britney has obviously been much more successful than her ex-husband. On the other hand, she probably has to cough up a hell of a lot for child support.

Verdict: Britney Spears, but only because we love comeback stories.

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Gwen Stefani vs Gavin Rossdale

Since these guys got married in 2002, Rossdale’s career hasn’t exactly been booming, and there’s been a lot more excitement over the No Doubt reunion than about news that Bush are getting back together.

Verdict: Gwen Stefani, easily.

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Bobby Brown vs Whitney Houston

Last year it looked like Whitney might be on the verge of a comeback, but it was quickly apparent that breaking up with Bobby Brown wouldn’t cure all her problems. Still, Million Dollar Bill is much better than anything he’s done in the past 20 years.

Verdict: Whitney Houston, despite her crack-damaged vocal cords.

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John Lennon vs Yoko Ono

Yoko Ono is thankfully no longer thought of as the woman who broke up the Beatles. However, no one will ever think of her as musical competition for Lennon’s legacy, no matter how cool Walking On Thin Ice has become in more recent years.

Verdict: John Lennon, unless you’re a diehard experimental musician.

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Clara Schumann vs Robert Schumann

Robert is better known – he wrote four symphonies and myriad piano works – but his wife, Clara, was also a composer of note and the finest concert pianist of her era. She transformed the art of the concert, organized and funded scores of European tours and had eight children, all while attending to mentally unstable Robert.

Verdict: Clara all the way.

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