Christmastime TV

What to watch on Jesus Christ's birthday

Stuck in the ‘burbs with the ‘rents and no internet or game console? Here’s the highlights of the festive day’s TV offerings.

THE YULE LOG The next best thing to roasting your chestnuts on an open fire: a three-hour loop of a blazing hearth. 6 am on A (20)

SANTA WITH MUSCLES (dir: John Murlowski, 1996) No, that’s not the after-effects of six eggnogs and half a bottle of Benelyn. The quality of the VHS movies aired on this re-branded Hamilton station are so poor, virtually everything’s a blur. That’s Hulk Hogan as a muscle-head who thinks he’s Santa lurking in the murk. 9:30 am on CHCH (11)

PRINCESS DIANA: HER LIFE IN JEWELS Doc examines tragic royal’s love for ostentatious costume jewelry. 11 am on CBCNN (26), repeated 2 pm

QUEEN’S MESSAGE Betty Windsor addresses the troops, Prince William hits the street, and Prince Harry gets jiggy at a strip club. Special guests: Cliff Richard, Dame Edna Everage. Noon on CBC (6), repeated at 11 pm

VH1 DIVAS Fresh from being booted from American Idol, an over-refreshed Paula Abdul hosts this salute to the queens of rock. Lip-synching in Las Vegas: Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Leona Lewis, Jordin Sparks and Miley Cyrus. 2pm on Much (36), repeated 8 pm Monday

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1939 dir: Sidney Lanfield) Tying in to Guy Ritchie’s re-imagining of Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr, the movie net broadcasts a 24-hour marathon of all 17 of the films based on Conan-Doyle’s legendary detective starting with Basil Rathbone’s definitive portrayal of the sleuth of Baker Street. 8 pm on TCM (48)

TRAILER PARK BOYS’ CHRISTMAS SPECIAL This prequel to the series finds Julian, Ricky and Bubbles in the holiday spirit. 9 pm on Showcase (39)

AUSTIN CITY LIMITS Kings of Leon join 13th Floor Elevator Roky Erickson in concert. Midnight on PBS (61)


MAD MEN The inaugural 13 episodes of the stylish drama set in the world of 60s advertising’s first season. 10 am on Bravo (40), continues 11 am Sunday. A season two marathon begins at 11 am on Saturday January 2nd and concludes at the same time Sunday January 3rd.
TOP CHEF An 18-hour marathon of the first series of Project Runway of grub. 10 am on Food (56)
JERSEY SHORE The first four – and so far, only – episodes of the highly contentious reality series set in a New Jersey beach town. 11 am on MTV
ANTHONY BOURDAIN: NO RESERVATIONS The irreverent NYC restaurateur and author of Kitchen Confidention travels the globe in search of extreme cuisine. Six back-to-back episodes from 2005. Midnight on Discovery (42) [rssbreak]

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