Giorgio Mammoliti makes the left his bitch. Mammo seems to be warming to his special seat in the chamber next to the man with absolute power. Some of Ford’s mojo must be rubbing off on the councillor from have-not York West. There’s this breezy air about Giorgio. He barely breaks a sweat during council meetings. It’s like he’s on a beach somewhere picking up chicks, which may explain his “You can spank me later” suggestion to Councillor Janet Davis. All in good fun, of course, the cut and thrust of politics being what it is. Giorgio Mammoliti: too smooth for words.
Rob Ford experiences another attack of homophobia. Still struggling with his inner gay, His Worship pulled a huge boner – he voted no to funding from the province for an HIV/AIDS screening program. It wouldn’t have looked so bad, except Ford’s was the only vote out of 44 agin it. The mayor’s handlers have been scrupulous about controlling the man and the message, but there’s no saving Ford from the devil inside.
Doug Holyday boogies to a different beat. The biggest penny-pincher on council performed a nifty jig for the TV cameras after council voted to blow $3 million on consultants – to find “gravy” in the city bureaucracy that isn’t there. (Think George Bush and weapons of mass destruction.) Holyday’s pièce de résistance: blaming the left for making the $3 mil public. Yeah. Now consultants will know how much money has been put aside for this political exercise and take advantage, Holyday said. Why the allocation was hidden in the fine print in the first place is another question, of course.
Lefty mainstay Gord Perks does the unthinkable: he votes yes on Ford’s budget. Of course it was a mistake. Perks got his redo after rising to ask – no, beg – for another vote. But then, in another Twilight Zone moment, Councillor Frank Di Giorgio, part of the mushy middle keeping Ford afloat, mistakenly voted no on the budget. All of which confirms what we’ve suspected since Ford rode into office with his special-edition Ronald Reagan voodoo economics: that the council chamber is possessed by demons.
Frances Nunziata stars in her own one-woman show. Perfect timing and great one-liners – all that’s missing from the council speaker’s routine are colourful balloons. Hear the one about Shelley Carroll and the itchy mike? Pretty soon Nunziata will be taking her show on the road. She performs a little magic, too, managing, for example, to make the $774 million elephant sitting in the room (also known as next year’s budget deficit) disappear with a wave of her pen. She ruled out-of-order any discussion on the matter. How’s that for a joke?
Ford true believers are beginning to speak in tongues. In Rob Ford’s Toronto, the big lie is that services are not being “cut.” They are being “reallocated,” “reorganized” or “capped.” And “inculcating culture change” is not code for privatization or Harris-style slash-and-burn. It’s not so nefarious as that. Honestly. It’s as Councillor Peter Milczyn says, “doing better without taking more from taxpayers.” So beautiful in its simplicity.
John Parker channels… something. Parker’s enthusiasm for cutting the crap out of the Tenant Defence Fund and grants for tenants groups was one for the books. His problem: tenant orgs, which may include members of the NDP (horrors!), are receiving money from the city. And engaging in political activity. It’s not like Parker is close to lobbyists who may have powerful landlords as clients, right?
Among Ford’s inner circle, the peer pressure to join the schoolyard bullying is spreading like a bad case of bedbugs. Even working stiffs like Councillor Paul Ainslie, perhaps feeling a little diminished by the testosterone-fuelled alpha males around him, are taking cheap shots. The councillor from Scarborough East, really overreached with an ill-advised attack on Josh Matlow. Ainslie suggested that the rookie councillor’s motion to reinstate funding to the Office of the Ombudsman was a veiled attempt to curry favour with that office should Matlow ever become the subject of a future probe. Harsh. Except the ombudsman probes constituents’ complaints, not the conduct of councillors. That’s the integrity commissioner’s job. Ainslie was left with egg on his face. Sometimes the bully loses.
enzom@nowtoronto.com
