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King of the Web Brawlers KOd

Kimbo Slice, the street-brawler-turned-Internet-celebrity-turned-mixed-martial-arts-heavyweight, dropped to the mat for the first time in his fighting career earlier this month, and now it appears an entire industry might take the fall with him. If that doesn’t happen, he’s at least cemented his status as Internet legend.

Slice built his name as a prizefighter on a Miami-based Internet porno network called RealityKings, owner of popular domains like Milf Hunter and Big Naturals. Slice could be seen in YouTube-style videos fighting in public, attacking passerbys and giving people charley horses for money. He earned the name King of the Web Brawlers.

But on October 4, Slice not only lost a bout to an unknown opponent, but lost spectacularly: he was brutally KO’d in 14 seconds.

Now, in common Internet vernacular, to “Kimbo Slice” is to beat someone badly. Example: American sub-prime mortgages Kimbo Sliced the worldwide economy.

In the last week, it seems Kimbo Slice Kimbo Sliced the mixed martial arts industry. The company that paid him, Elite Xtreme Combat, shut down this week due to losses from the fight. It’s parent company, ProElite, which was founded by the Showtime Network, will also have to file for bankruptcy as a result.

As well, the bloodsport has been damaged by rumours of fixed matches. Slice’s opponent made comments suggesting he was asked to throw the fight, and fuelled speculation the outcome of Slice’s previous wins were predetermined. Needless to say, this has made the MMA audience more skeptical. It’s yet to be seen if the entire sport will be Kimbo Sliced.

Since the surprising popularity of last year’s Crank Dat Soulja Boy, an inane hip-hop song with an equally inane dance, rap music has been searching for its next novelty hit plus accompanying dance. And with his Internet-only single Arab Money, Busta Rhymes may have it.

While Soulja Boy’s hit was built on an inappropriately lewd sex act (Google lyric “Superman dat ho!”), Arab Money relies on an inappropriate hackneyed notion that Arabs are uniformly wealthy. Rhymes also thinks Malaysia, Iran and other oil-rich nations are Arab and believes late PLO leader Yasser Arafat is still alive.

However ignorant the song is, the dance is a pleasure. Called simply the Arab Money dance, it consists of pointing slant-ways toward the sky during the Arabic chorus, then spinning around while waving both fists in the air during the refrain (“We gettin’ Arab money!”).

A demonstration:

Toronto Raptors all-star Chris Bosh can already be seen doing it on his YouTube channel. Will the city’s dance floors be next?

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joshuae@nowtoronto.com

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