Brain freeze
Only guy on council to vote against free cash from the province for AIDS education program. Duh. Don’t blame the reefer Robo puffed on occasion during family vacations in Florida. (Okay, that Paraquat-laced Mexican shake can make you stupid.)
Adam’s apple
Even he must have gulped when he compared himself to William Lyon Mackenzie in that inaugural address for the ages. Can you imagine Ford walking down Yonge Street with a pitchfork? I mean, he is the Family Compact.
Heart
Started a football foundation (what’s known in the business world as a tax shelter, but we digress). Also known to vote against keeping outdoor rinks open for the kids during March break and against sending ambulances we don’t need any more to El Salvador. Just his way of showing tough love.
Writer’s cramp
From filling out expense forms too clean for the integrity commissioner and auditor general – but that’s another story.
Bread basket
Lots of bread of the paper variety located here. Thanks to that hand-me-down multimillion-dollar biz, he’s got mad dough to pump any neo-con project he wants.
Water on the knee
Got this bum number from supposedly standing up for the little guy, downtrodden, dispossessed, disenfranchised, Knut the bear.
Wrenched ankle
Has stepped on a few banana peels. Remember “We’ve got a spending problem, not a revenue problem”? Well, now we’ve got a revenue problem – that $774 million hole in the budget.
Charley horse
From his rock ’em, sock ’em political style, which is already beginning to alienate his mushy-middle support on council.
Funny bone
Check that “corruption fighter” shtick – pretending to clean house with one hand and with the other taking cash from questionable lobbyists. That’s hilarious.
Spare ribs
Don’t need to go there.
Wishbone
The biggest bone in Ford’s entire body. Writ in large print right on it is his wettest dream: NFL football in Toronto. Pass the baby oil.
enzom@nowtoronto.com
