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Rob Ford, the ignorable

Between Doug “Comical Ali” Ford’s calling City Hall journalists “jihadists” and Mayor Rob’s saying not much of anything at all, it’s back to the brothers’ netherworld. That was quick.

To recap the week that followed Rob’s return from rehab – news flash 1: he has a sobriety coach news flash 2: he also has a new communications director. In other tabloid news, Pamela Anderson is seeking a divorce from her third husband.

Rob’s hiring of the former was supposed to assure us that Ford is committed to not falling off the wagon or showing up in videos in another inglorious drunken stupor. But that went awry when the coach, Bob Marier, was caught on camera allegedly kicking a protester at Rob’s first public presser on Tuesday, July 8, since his return from rehab.

As for the latter, Ford Nation may not be enthused to learn that new communications director Jeff Silverstein’s day job – when he’s not keeping Rob out of trouble, that is – is running interference for the big, bad banks. That’s right, the fighter for the little guy has a damage-control dude for evil financiers running his show.

Oh, dear. The mayor’s re-entry into the political atmosphere after two months in rehab in Muskoka has been one gargantuan public relations fail after another.

Shocking but not surprising, as they say, especially for the architect of Ford’s 2010 win, Nick Kouvalis, who’s now working for the rival John Tory camp in the mayoral race. Kouvalis was paying close attention from council chamber’s public gallery at this week’s meeting. “Just getting a sense of things,” he says. Uh-huh.

If anyone knows what makes the Fords tick, it’s Kouvalis. He chalks up Ford’s precipitous descent into ignobility to hubris. Go figure.

Kouvalis called the sorry scenario months ago, when he said Ford would be a footnote in the race by the time Labour Day rolled around. He was off about that: folks are already tuning Rofo out.

That bump in the mayor’s numbers that the pundits were expecting upon his (sorta) teary-eyed return from rehab – what pollsters call the “dead cat bounce” – hasn’t happened. In fact, voters are turning off in droves. The latest poll released by Nanos Research on Monday, July 7, spells trouble with a capital T for the mayor, putting him in third place for the first time – behind Tory and Olivia Chow.

Whatever’s left of his base in pockets of underprivileged Scarborough and North York is bleeding quickly to Tory. Even more problematic for Ford: the Nanos survey confirms the results of a Forum poll released a few days earlier.

So much for sober second thought. With the “shirtless horde” and other protestors wagging giant foamy fingers in front of the cameras at the mayor and campaign manager Doug at every press conference and media scrum, we’ve entered Monty Python territory. I can’t be the only one who’s relieved that we can finally enjoy the funny (back)side of the Fords now that they’re in retreat.

Rob’s trademark bluster about City Hall overspending on rocks and pink umbrellas on the waterfront (how about those plants that need watering at City Hall?) barely registers with voters any more. Spending was the least of voters’ concerns in the Nanos poll. No one cares what the Fords are spouting, least of all, it seems, the media covering the mayor.

That boycott talk among journos after the mayor’s invite-only presser on June 30 may not have been a fleeting idea after all. Some media and loads of folks online, even on the message boards of Ford-friendly newspapers, are musing openly about actively ignoring the lug.

We’ve passed peak Ford. The two months the mayor spent “in rehab” (apparently he was spending most of his time watching TV in a private cottage and maybe having drugs delivered) have opened Torontonians’ eyes to what life is like without the drama and distractions.

It felt almost quaint when Ford pulled out the old cars-versus-bikes saw at a press conference on gridlock Tuesday, which he turned into a critique of bike lanes and wider sidewalks on Eglinton. That’s right. He also referred to the LRTs that will run under Eglinton as “subways.”

Just as cringe-worthy were the two interviews Ford did with CBC and CP24 before pulling the plug on the sit-downs he promised other news outlets last week. These appearances only raised more questions about his so-called rehabilitation.

Has the mayor done heroin? Is he on medication to help with his alcoholism? Has wife Renata finally had enough? Rofo referred to his substance abuse problems in the past tense during the CBC interview. Clearly, he’s still in denial.

Not having to pay attention to Ford sounds like an attractive proposition, but pretending he’s not there won’t exorcise the memories. For that to happen, we need to be reminded periodically of just how effed-up his reign of error has been.

That’s a required part of the process of our own recovery. In the meantime, enjoy the shit-show, knowing it’ll all be over on election day, October 27. Or maybe sooner at this rate.

enzom@nowtoronto.com | @enzodimatteo

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