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Trinity Bellwoods block party crashes Facebook

Appearing out of the same nowhere that KONY 2012 did, The Trinity Bellwoods Block Party has, at publication time, generated more than 16,000 ‘Yes’ RSVPs from day drinkers and skeptics. But we all have the same question: What the hell is this?

Devoid of any information aside from an exclamation point and the assurance to “Stay tuned for more details coming soon,” the event’s Facebook invite is suspiciously sparse. Regardless, the number of attendees guarantees Instagram will crash on July 5 when its servers are overloaded with pictures of tanning legs and aerial views of picnic spreads.

The event was created by a Facebook page, also called Trinity Bellwoods Block Party that has no other names or info behind it, leading most to believe that the event is simply a joke to see what happens when you attach the word ‘Bellwoods’ to an event. It could be no more than an attempt to recreate last year’s scalding hot beer garden/dehydration chamber/drunk tank out of the rink – in which case, what even separates a block party from an average, overcrowded weekend in the west end park?

Promoters with other insipid events have started using the busy event page as a publicity opportunity, while commentators offer their own sarcastic theories (a Bill C-51 protest? A backup location for the Spadina House Gatsby Garden Party?) or bash the event’s uninspired cover photo. Others lament that the surge of people will ruin Bellwoods for everyone, as if it’s some sort of Xanadu, and simply wish the organizers good luck at securing any kind of licensing or certification.

But as quips about millennials overcrowding the park are tossed back and forth, it’s the irony of being invited to hang out in a public park on a weekend when most of the usual dwellers would be there anyway that makes this post reach a level of meta-Bellwoods. We don’t know if the creators will just keep trolling or use the built-in audience they’ve amassed to announce something. But as jabs about hipster stereotypes and guitar strumming bros continue to be exchanged across the comments page, the event that I’m beginning to anticipate is the Trinity Hellwoods Massacre.

Meet at first light on the moors of the Dog Bowl for an all out brawl! It’s Beards vs. Visors, Craft Beer vs. Cider, Slack-liners vs. Devil Sticks, Guitars vs. Songza. Who will stand champion above the rivers of urine in the gazebo? Early bird tickets on sale now! Secure a patch of dirt to sit on now for just 10 bucks and receive complimentary directions to the after-party pool hop at Scadding Court!

Update: Another similar block party event has appeared, this time on July 8 at Union Station. 

news@nowtoronto.com | @nowtoronto

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