That's it! I've been in the party all my life, but this year I'm finally through with being a liberal.
No, I don't mean Liberal in the sense of defaultin' Dalton McGuinty, though if I were that type of Liberal I'd quit that, too, because of the planned Portlands gas-power plant, which is in my neighbourhood.
I mean liberal in the sense that I've spent years being way too liberal with my use of the earth's dwindling resources. I leave the TV on, I keep my place too toasty in winter, I have hot showers all the time. That's over.
From now on I'm joining the conservatives. And, no, I don't mean Conservative in the Stephen Harper "con them while they think you're serving them" sense. I mean I'm going to try to help conserve more of the environment for future generations. (Did you know Ontarians use 60 per cent more energy per capita than our comrades in New York State?)
I'll slash my trash, I'll downsize my electricity bill, I'll claw back cab rides. My special interest will be improving education, because people are the environment, too. I'll plant trees instead of power plants. I'll restructure my kitchen to eat more locally grown raw food and lay off all the cooking.
I guess that makes me a small-footprint conservative. Which means I'm gonna stop layin' it all at the feet of poor leadership. If I wait for poor leadership to convince me to change my ways, I'll just be a smog hog forever. Before I crank up the barbecue this summer, I'll think of the gasping, dying faces and reach for the greens. Before I turn on the power-sucking clothes drier, I'll reach for the clothes pegs.
Yes, it's all about me or at least almost all about me. There are some things I'll need help with. That's why this year for the first time in my life I joined a political party. The NDP. I did it so I could help elect Peter Tabuns to defeat the local Liberal candidate. Not just because, like most poor people, I'm a confirmed socialist, but because Tabuns was so successful in stopping the port lands incinerator 10 years ago and he's vowed and determined to stop the planned gas-fired McGin-erator.
Last weekend I went down and sang We Share The Air at a pep rally. I like having an audience, and I love the idea of haltin' Dalton, but I really hate listening to political speeches. Oh, well, no one said it would be easy.
I guess that's just the price you have to pay when you quit the party and join the Party.