FERNANDO’S HIDEAWAY 545 Yonge, at Wellesley, 647-955-0872. Rating: N
The Hours: Monday to Friday 11:30 am to 10 pm, Saturday noon to midnight, Sunday and holidays 2 to 10 pm
The Minimum: $20
The Order: Mexican Flag enchilada dinner ($15.99), small regular nachos ($8.99), kids' fish taco ($3.99), large guacamole ($1.99) and a mango-flavoured Jarritos soda ($2.25)
The Damage: $38.43 + $6.95 delivery (orderit.ca) = $45.38
The Wait (ETA vs Reality): 60 minutes/45 minutes
The Haul: No longer Hernando's, Fernando's take on south-of-the-border cuisine is so watered down, it's more ex-Mex than Tex-Mex. Witness the enchilada combo, three sad corn tortillas stuffed with dry beef, chopped chicken and cheese layered with extremely mild green tomatillo, slightly - slightly! - hotter red sauce and white sour cream sided with bland pink rice, refried beans of no particular consequence and a small green salad in cloyingly sweet mayo.
Prefab corn chip nachos covered in melted Velveeta-like cheese arrive lukewarm and so welded together, you could wear them as a hat. Pity the small fry who get stuck with skinny fish-stick tacos. A large guac gets you a small tub of mush. Good thing the pop comes in a sealed bottle.