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Hooked on sex

All we need is three and we’ve got a trend. Comedian Russell Brand claims to be afflicted by a sex addiction, and so does David Duchovny. Lindsay Lohan and Bill Clinton are also said to be sufferers, but don’t quote me on that.

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Want to know if you have it, too? Check sexhelp.com.

Some claim that 3 to 5 per cent of the population has this problem, but I don’t care what anyone says – I’m calling bullshit on that one.

This behaviour is defined as the inability to keep it in your pants, to stay out of others’ pants and keep your hands where we can see them – despite the repercussions. Addicts suffer terrible consequences, apparently: depression, loss of family and partners and low self-esteem. Many say the erotic compulsion should be taken very seriously.

On the other hand, many say the model is too simplistic and that there’s simply no evidence for it.

Then there’s the question of whether morality is getting tangled up in the issue: does sex always have to be about love and a deep connection?

What the experts say

“Sex addiction meets the same criteria as a substance use disorder. People don’t understand that there is a neurochemical response to sexual behaviour. We are playing with our own internal pharmacy. What’s important is to make a distinction between using sex to get a high and having sex as part of love and connection. It’s healthy versus unhealthy sex.”

DORIS VINCENT, sex addiction therapist, Edmonton

“The concept is an oversimplification. The addiction idea may turn out to be useful in some cases, but a lot of what is generally considered under this heading is probably better thought of as out-of-control sexual behaviour. There are a lot of reasons why sexual behaviour can get out of control. In a few cases, you could reasonably use the term ‘compulsion,’ but there has been a tendency to use these terms rather loosely.”

JOHN BANCROFT, senior research fellow, former director, Kinsey Institute, UK

“Like many pleasurable behaviours, sex elevates dopamine to a very high level, and when we elevate a brain chemical that high, we tend to want more of it. Some people use sex as their drug of choice. The problem with sex is that it’s got so much moral baggage that we don’t treat it the same way we treat gambling, drugs or alcohol. We see sex addiction as a character defect or a moral failing, but the truth is it’s about elevation of brain chemicals. The Internet enables, facilitates and amplifies the potential for sexual compulsion.”

DAVID GREENFIELD, director, Centre for Internet and Technology Addiction, author, Virtual Addiction, Hartford, Connecticut

“Sex – including masturbation – is probably the fastest-growing addiction in the world, and the Internet has expedited it. You get endorphins in the prefrontal cortex, so you set up a neurological reward system. But you’re having sex with objects, so you create an object-desired sexual bonding. Usually, you know when you’re an addict. You’re living a double life, you’re lying, spending more time pursuing it and feeling guilty afterwards.”

DOUG WEISS, author, The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery, Colorado Springs, Colorado

“The diagnostic criteria are incredibly vague. The concept of sexual addiction is essentially a moral system disguised as a psychological evaluation. It does not have a model of healthy sexuality that many people would find satisfactory.”

MARTY KLEIN, marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, San Francisco, California

“There’s no question that some people are compulsive about sexual behaviour. The problem with the ‘sexual addiction’ model is that it takes sexuality out of context. It’s not like using alcohol or drugs the act of having sex is not as easily decontextualized as the act of drinking. The model pathologizes healthy sexuality and relates kinky sex to sex addiction, as if people who are into BDSM are more likely to become sex addicts. Even if sex is engaged in ‘excessively,’ it isn’t in and of itself harmful. So the concept of addiction doesn’t get at the real problem. It’s a huge industry of selling books and workshops.”

CORY SILVERBERG, sex educator, Toronto

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