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Making anger a writeoff

So you want to work through some anger issues, huh? Good for you. But how to go about it? Should you write a book about the abuse you suffered as a child (and hope to make a million) or shout to the heavens or, as they used to suggest, punch a pillow?

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Well, one thing experts agree on is that the last option doesn’t really work. Cleansing yourself through experiencing deep emotions sounds so appealing, but it won’t necessarily ease your anger load.

But guess what? Writing it all down might. Don’t worry about publishing it – using a pen or keyboard to work through the madness is often enough. Who knew it was that simple?

What the experts say

“When you go through a traumatic situation, your memory of it is chaotic. Writing it down, even if nobody sees it, turns it into a coherent story and reduces the chaos. Writing has huge benefits. Telling it to others has the added effect of validating feelings, useful for those who don’t believe what they went through should be causing them so much trouble. Going out for a primal scream or punching the wall to let all that anger out doesn’t work. It actually tends to increase overall arousal and reinforces aggression as a response to frustration. You need habits that dissipate anger.”

ART MARKMAN, professor of psychology, University of Texas, Austin

“Expressing anger through an exercise can help people get in touch with the fact that they’re angry. But it’s not useful in getting rid of the anger. The issue is knowing where anger comes from and redirecting it into constructive activity. Artists like Picasso, Beethoven or Pollock were angry individuals who were able to redirect their rage. Verbal and experiential catharsis can be a healing aspect of psychotherapy. But that’s different from pounding on pillows or acting out anger. The idea is to consciously verbalize the anger to oneself and the therapist, and use it to strengthen one’s relationships, one’s sense of self and one’s life.”

STEPHEN DIAMOND, psychologist, author, Anger Madness And The Daimonic: The Psychological Genesis Of Violence, Evil And Creativity, Los Angeles

“You have to deal with the underlying fear and shame to regulate anger. Anger occurs from perception of vulnerability and threat your brain creates a hair-trigger response to protect you. There is no scientific evidence whatsoever that shows catharsis helps, and a lot of evidence shows it makes things worse. Anything you do that creates value will make you feel less vulnerable and reduce the need for anger. You can be creative, admire nature, express compassion, love, spirituality, community. Anger is a devaluing emotion, and the motivation is often to devalue someone else. Getting in touch with your anger keeps you in that devalued state.”

STEVEN STOSNY, founder, CompassionPower, Germantown, Maryland

“We need to allow ourselves to feel and connect with what troubles us. When we do that, we get insights and clarity. When you’re having a catharsis, you’re not necessarily connecting. I warn people about ‘big bang’ experiences and organizations putting on workshops that break down people’s defences over the course of a weekend. Sometimes this breaks through into consciousness of some old trauma, and people say it was a life-changing experience. The problem is that it’s also terribly dangerous and can cause a psychotic state or cause people to shut down even more. Writing is a way of processing feelings and getting to the connections you need to get to.”

JANICE BERGER, psychotherapist, Newmarket

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