Not in the mood? it happens to the best of us. What with all this love and sex everywhere, sometimes a person can feel a little inadequate.
The sex drive sags for all kinds of reasons in both men and women: hormone fluctuations, life stresses, deep-seated hatred of your partner that you refuse to acknowledge.
You know, that sort of thing.
If the problem persists, it may be a sign of serious illness, so you want to check that out.
You also may be drinking too much or doing too many drugs. Cut the heroin and cocaine use and see if that helps. Even if you don't have a problem, you might just feel like giving your sex life a little lift. Happy Valentine's Day.
What the experts say
" Acupuncture is the way to go. Points would be kidney 3, kidney 6 and CB4, which is on the abdomen. Foods good for the kidney energy are those high in protein. There are good acupuncture points for erectile dysfunction. One is between the scrotum and the anus. Homeopathy can really help, particularly if you're suffering from depression. Homeopathy is based on the individual person. [Remedies specific to sex drive] don't always work, in my experience. It's not a one-shot deal, where you take a remedy and your libido is increased. Low libido can be a symptom of something physiological, mental or emotional."
YASMIN SNIPPE , naturopath, Toronto
" Jasmine is a popular aphrodisiac oil. It's euphoric, and more for women than men, perhaps because it's very flowery. Men tend to like things that are more spicy, like sandalwood . Though, to contradict myself, rose is the second-most-popular aphrodisiac for men. I think that's why men like to give women red roses. Ginger also works, as do vanilla , basil and cinnamon . You can massage each other [with these oils]. If you have high blood pressure or are epileptic, be careful what you use."
HEATHER BOYD , aromatherapist, Valentine Aromatherapy, Toronto
"The most common problem is that people are stressed out or depressed. You can't just take a drug and make the rest of your life go away. People need to look at their priorities. Sometimes the person may not be getting along with a spouse, or there's some kind of communication difficulty or misunderstanding about sex. [Sexual arousal] is very sensitive to the feeling that the other person is interested. Sex drive goes up and down, so if the male can't get it up one time, his partner may think she's not attractive any more, and the problem takes off from there. A medical problem in males may be causing low testosterone."
BETH MARES , sex therapist, Toronto
"If both partners use surgical tape to attach a small half-inch crystal of raw garnet about 4 inches below the belly button and focus the breath on the area, they'll feel a warm, stimulating sensation that excites sexual energy in the first and second chakras. For additional stimulation, tape garnet under the arch of each foot (don't walk on them). Carry garnets in each pants pocket to help blood circulation to the hips and legs. For tantric sexual practices you can perform the act in a circle of crystals or create a crystal outline in the form of a star of David. That's the yin and yang, the coupling of two triangles.'
KAREN RYAN , crystal healer, Crystal Tiger, Toronto
"The main thing is vitality, or what the Chinese would call kidney chi. All the ginsengs will provide vitality. Usually you take them in combination with juju berries or wolfberries , maybe licorice or orange peel . Ginkgo biloba works by increasing the arterial blood flow. Avena sativa , or green oats , is a sex hormone globulin binder that blocks the thing that removes hormones from the blood so more remain in circulation. Damiana , or Turnera aphrodisiaca , stimulates the urinary tract. Serenoa , also known as saw palmetto , works the same way as avena. For men it softens the prostate, and in women it increases circulating androgens. (Buy herbs in their whole state or in tincture form, not in capsules.) Everybody knows that quality dark chocolate is the drug of choice.'
JOHN REDDEN , registered herbalist, Toronto